Erm, Random Words?

30

2010-10-31T20:57:00.004+08:00

Hi.

Okay, usual format. Apologies first. You know when in the past I said sorry for not belching out something new in ages, well, that was nothing compared to this time. There's just been so much that I have no idea what to say. You know that feeling when you wanna do something but then get preoccupied, and then remember (once in a while) and then sit there and stare 'cause you have no idea what to write about. Yeah, it's been one big long session of that feeling.

Wow.

Okay so lemme catch my breath. *gasps*

That was fast. Mega fast. Light speed fast.

But that's well, the speed I seem to be operating at, at least when I'm not being a two-toed sloth, which apparently doesn't happen very often. The light speed I mean. Sloth mode is frequent. It's like electron excitation due to energy from incoming photons. It's all, or nothing. Anyway, gotta stop there, and apologise again for the incomprehensible Physics-y nature of that sentence.

You see my WACE starts tomorrow. Ah tomorrow. Gotta love it. Yes, tomorrow, the first of November. At believe it or not, on the day after tomorrow my braces will officially be four years old. 4 long, long chicken bone crunching deprived years. So yeah, exams tomorrow. The Big One. Even bigger than I what I sat for in the past and though as the big one. Physics first thing in the morning, which is why I'm in Physics mode then break, English on Thursday, then Maths, Human Bio and Chemistry on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday consecutively. Yeah, once again I end on a high note with Chem, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

So where have I been? I've been busy studying for the Big One (see above sentence) and doing other stuff. Like Uni applications, singing in church, sleeping, listening to music and staring blankly into space pondering life's indescribable questions. Which reminds me to tell you, I've got an interview with a University on this coming Wednesday. Won't say where, but what I will say is that I can't wait for it, and I would love to study there.

It's the day before the battle begins. So then, what have I been doing? Well, I have been preparing and doing 3 hour exams (I forgot to tell you, all exams but Math is one 3 hour long paper, Math is two sections, 50 minutes of non-calculator mayhem then 100 minutes of epic calculatorness) but I've also spent pretty much half the day in church actually. I really like spending time doing stuff in church, and it's good for me to get rooted in the community here. Deepens my faith and reminds me that I actually have friends. Today was first Holy Communion for a group of young Catholics in my parish today. It was good, the youth band and I played for both the Communion mass at 3 and also the normal 6 pm Sunday mass. So now after that I've got my secret weapon in me (a.k.a the Big Man up Top) and I'm all ready for tomorrow.

Finally, apologies for the uniform and totally uninteresting single standard font colour. No time, gotta get a good night's rest plus Dad's angry at my unsilent typing skills. I'll just explain the title. It's code. Translate it into binary base, at it'll mean something, if you pay attention to dates. Gotta go.

Until Next Time

Binomial Distribution

2010-08-28T23:20:00.004+08:00

Bernoulli Trials are trials where either something happens, or it doesn't.

I guess life isn't one. It's not clear cut. But it's what you make of it.

I had an interesting weekend last week. It was so bad, that it suddenly became so good. And I thank God for giving me support exactly when I need it.

But I was a little naive in thinking that this depression would let me go that easily. I guess I've gotta fight with every molecule of my being.

And because of this, it's a very interesting time right now. I've been getting ideas for poems lately. For some reason the miniscule poetic section of my mind works best at 1 a.m. Hopefully I can piece them together and pen them. If I do you'd be the first to know.

The weather's turning now. Or rather it's almost finished turning.

Spring's coming!!!

The flowers are blooming, and the nights are warmer. I just hope that means the same for me too. But the exams are coming, and this depression is seriously taking it's toll on the amount of time I have to spend on work. Guess it's crunch time.

Sorry about how blurred my posts seem to turn out. My older posts were definitely more planned out. But then again, the older ones weren't much either. But it's not about how good or not good something is, is it? It's about what's actually going on. And right now everything's so blurry, and nothing's consistant. That's why my blog's the same.

Until Next Time.

Aquarius

2010-08-20T21:01:00.005+08:00

Dear someone listening in the shadows
I only talk to you sometimes
And though I ask for help in riddles
It is clearer in my mind, clearer in my mind

Born of a sign that carries vessels
But in a month that's cold as ice
I know I question things too quickly
But I have never questioned if I've loved

Dear someone watching from the shadows
I'm clenching water in my fists
the drops, they slip right through my fingers
But there's water on my lips, water on my lips

Born of a sign that carries vessels
But in a month that brings just ice
I know I question things too quickly
But I've never wondered if I've loved

Dear someone watching from the shadows
You've seen me lose all the water from my hands
I'm not a skillful water carrier
But the raindrops keep falling on my head, falling on my head

Born of a sign that carries water
But in a month that brings just ice
I'm not a skillful water carrier
But I've learned to carry love,
learned to carry love...

~ Regina Spektor

Connect the dots.

2010-08-15T21:30:00.002+08:00

Today was the University of Western Australia's open day.

I would really like to study there. It's arguably the top university in the state of Western Australia, and the Crawley Campus is super awesome.

And Open Days are generally a pretty good way to convince people that. I like Open Days. You get to walk around and talk to teachers and students on campus. And free food are a plus too.

You also get to see just about exactly how many young people the western section of the smallest continent on this third rock from the sun actually has.

I'm scared.

How on Earth am I supposed to get the same as or more than 80% of the students in WA?!? I'm no Einstein.

That's not the only thing.

I reckon I've got a pretty clear idea of what field I want to study in. I know what I like. I just don't know what I don't like. What if I don't enjoy doing this as much as I think I do? What happens after I study? Then what?

Life's like a jigsaw puzzle of massive proportions. So is the next step on solid ground, or a sheer drop to my doom?

The next piece is definately scattered somewhere in this room. I just need a lot more light and a little more time. Then the dots can connect.

Until Next Time.

The Haunting

2010-08-13T22:31:00.004+08:00

*Warning : The following post is not for the faint hearted or for animal lovers. You have been warned*

I'm gonna have nightmares about what happened this morning.

And that was even before my tests, which were much less frightening.

So I was walking as usual to the bus stop on the corner of Amelia Street and Wanneroo Road to get to college. Wanneroo Road is a major road just so you know. Quite a lot of traffic passes through every day, especially at 8 in the morning.

As I was walking up Amelia St. there was a huge brown dog that was roaming around. As I came, he ran towards me, and started sniffing me and stuff. Now, I'm not as scared of dogs as I used to be, so I mean, if he wants to sniff me, then he can, just as long as he leaves me alone.

So then he starts following me from there. Then as I'm going up the street, a schoolgirl comes walking down, and the dog runs after her. She freaks out. So I tell her not to run, cause then he'll think it's a game. Then I call the dog to me, cause he's pretty big and he's jumping on her. Then I keep walking up, and he runs ahead of me.

Now I get to the intersection between Amelia St. and Wanneroo Rd. I'm worried, cause if I cross the road, he crosses too, and then what happens when I get on the bus on the other side? The dog, anticipating me crossing the road, keeps going, and he stops in the middle of the road. It's green for traffic on that side, but thankfully there are no cars then. There's just one car on the last lane, who's turning right, and it was red to turn. The driver looks at me, and I shrug my shoulders. I don't know who's dog this is! Then another guy comes along and he calls the dog towards him. I heave a sigh of relief, and cross the road when the light turns green.

The bus I need to take is stuck at a red light on the other side of the junction, so I run towards the bus stop hoping that I get there in time. By now, the dog's the last thing on my mind. I've got four test today, I can't be late. So I get to the bus stop, and the light turns green. Just then, the guy who called the dog crosses the road further ahead from where I crossed, and it looks like he's going towards the bus stop too. The dog scampers ahead of him. He get's halfway, and then stops cause there's oncoming traffic. In the same way he did for me, the dog anticipated the guy wanting to cross and darts ahead, into the traffic. Then comes a loud thump, as he get's hit directly in the head by a car, who's driver immediately slams the breaks. The dog runs of whimpering, and that's the last I saw of him.

I don't blame the driver one bit, 'cause it takes time to react, especially when the dog suddenly jumps in front of you. But I do feel awful for the dog, cause he may have survived, but by the sound of it, he's got a few broken bones.

I hope I haven't given you nightmares too.

Until Next Time.

Genetics

2010-08-11T20:57:00.004+08:00

Less words are better than more words.

'Cause you can say too much, and never say anything at all.

Grandpa turned 90 last week.

So it's in my genes. But can I grow old happily too?

The future just doesn't look bright from here.

So I guess I don't have the mood to write a fully optimistic lengthy post. But hey, see the first two lines. See, I'm still on the roller-coaster. It seems to like me. But depression is no fun. Now though, the ups seem to be getting bigger. And the downs seem to be getting smaller. All I need is some spiritual formation and I'm there. It seems like I was meant to go through this. It's written in my genes too. And I wouldn't have to go through this if I couldn't get out. I just need to keep reminding myself that.

And going back to KL was like falling asleep. With the most awesome of awesome dreams. Well, it could have been even more awesome. Now it feels like I've woken up. Someone's splashed me with a cold bucket of water. And I don't like cold buckets of water.

Now I'm back to life, college and reality. And I've got 4 tests on Friday. It's time I began my assault on Math.

Until Next Time.

The Confluence

2010-08-03T12:11:00.003+08:00

Oh, but everything is nothing.

And in it's nothingness, is everything.

A single black dot,

upon paper clear,

unblemished but for that spot,

contains everything.

From mountains to valleys,

rivers and distant lands,

dreams and hazy memories.

But that spot was once a snail,

Slow, but steady,

Untiring, but not unhappy.

Carrying his home wherever he went.

Now the snail is an albatross.

Flying high in search of the sun,

with no nest to claim abode,

travelling his solitary journey.

The albatross meets the snail,

upon the sheet marked once.

And in that convergence,

three become one.

Everything becomes contained,

in the nothing.

Outsiders.

2010-07-31T22:01:00.004+08:00

This might be a lengthy one. I'm pretty much on the up side, I need to get the writing mood to write my English assignment prep-work and I just plain feel like it.. So yeah, lengthy one coming right up.

My English Assignment.

Is on a novel called "The Outsider" by Albert Camus. Originally written in French, it's a Nobel prize winner. It is a seriously scary book. It has the power to completely draw you into the book. Almost as if you're watching everything happen. It also just plain sucks the life of your day. Depressing, oh yeah. But it's cause Meursault, the protagonist is just so plain human and beliveable, and yet, he's so cold, empty and dry. It's really taken me a couple of reads to understand, but I don't think I really hate him like some people do. He's an outsider 'cause he just plain won't lie about the way he thinks or feels to please other people. If life's like that, we could all do with being outsiders.

So, last week, I went to Notre Dame University in Fremantle.

One of my Dad's family friends is a Dean there. He showed us around, explained about the Uni and caught up with Dad. So it was pretty good. The campus is inside the city of Fremantle, and it just looks so awesome. I am seriously considering studying there. In a couple of weeks, Uni applications for the top four Institutions open online. And I'm in overdrive trying to get as much info as possible, so as to narrow down my choices to apply. It's pretty much done, only there are some courses that I'm not completely sure I want to consider. So yeah, the pressure for University is on. And it's really important, because it pretty much dictates the rest of my life from there. So yeah, Uni is gonna be one seriously uncertain adventure.

Yeah and we're doing waves in Physics now.

I realise something. My mood is like one big sine wave. But it's not always a constant motion, it's pretty irregular. And my minimum points can get pretty low. So my apologies if my blog posts during these min points get a little, hmm, gloomy. Don't let them get you down. But also, there are maximum points too, and those are really awesome. Unfortunately, they seem to be occuring a lot less, and a with a lot less value.

Home.

I've been having quite a lot of problem with that really. If you don't believe me, check when was the last blog post when I haven't used the word home, or indirectly talked about it. It's been so hard to grasp the concept of home. I'm not gonna lie, moving is not an easy thing to do. And I don't think this is gonna be the last time I have a problem with home. I guess it's because I've never really had this much of a problem with home that I'm feeling it now. But I realise something. Home will always be with me. I am home, simply because I am living. And how I actually live my life influences how at home I really feel. So, I think it's about time I got home.

"Vanity of Vanities. All is Vanity."

- William Shakespeare. But taken from Ecclesiastes 1:2.

I've learnt something. There are two types of dreams, real dreams and vanities. Real dreams are pure, wholesome and unselfish. They're there to help, and they please other people too. Vanities are totally the opposite. And, I've unknowingly drifted too far into vanities. But don't judge me by that.

So now, it's time I started dreaming real dreams again. 'Cause once I do, not only will I find home again, I'll also find my way, and myself.

Until Next Time.

Standardisation.

2010-07-27T20:40:00.003+08:00

Things don't like to remain the same do they?

Everything always just changes all the time. Even things like acids can sometimes become their exact opposite, bases. They can change!

And that's why standard solutions just don't work. How can they ever be standard? They've gotta change sometime.

Even abstracts and concretes aren't standard.

I mean, like, time is a concrete. Right? You can't not feel the effects of time. Time does stuff. And you know that it will. So then why does it feel like nothing is ever gonna happen? Why is it that I just keep going back to the same deep dark place? Shouldn't time have done something about it?

Then is time suddenly an abstract now? It's just changed.

Home is another concrete. It's where the heart is. You can buy a house, but not a home. It is so real. So then why is it home is suddenly so unreal now? It's just become abstract. I can't feel it any more. And what happens when I go back to K.L. in a week's time? That place, which I called home for so long. But this is my home now. I guess. So, which one is it? It's a question I can't answer.

So I guess the change is pretty unavoidable. But I just wish at least I would be able to get some standardisation. 'Cause the uncertainty and the break downs are just awful. How much more of this can I take?

Hopefully, help is on the way.

Until Next Time.

Get me out of this Cavern

2010-07-19T16:30:00.004+08:00

Or I'll cave in.

Owl City - Cave in

Come on. I've been through this before. But then, why do I still feel like this?

I feel so empty. Again. But worse. And I was so optimistic yesterday and this morning. Now I just can't see beyond the smoke. The smoke of the past. And of myself.

I want to go back. And I might even be able to, for a short while. But what would I be going back to? More of this?

Even if I go or if I stay, I'll still be back here soon. Then what? What am I going forward to?

Will the sun still be shining? Or will the weather keep changing?

Do I have to keep my head down a trudge through?

Do you know what my deepest darkest fear is?

That I actually am all alone.

Are you there? Or are you just a decoy dream in my head?

Am I home or am I simply tumbling all alone?

Until Next Time.

Home is a Boxcar.

2010-07-15T22:31:00.006+08:00

And it's so far out of reach.

Owl City - Umbrella Beach

I think I may have another demon.

And I haven't recognised him yet. Or named him.

Okay, how's insecurity sound? Naah, not complete.

Hmmm, homesickness? Not exactly.

What do I call him? It?

Strangely enough it doesn't seem to effect my current mood. It's not the kinda of thingy that really weighs me down, like others I've encountered. It's more the silent stealthy ninja type. The one who slowly kills you.

Especially 'cause I'm so bored on holiday. I've just got no mood to do anything but sleep 'till 11, watch Tv and listen to Owl City song all night.

Dare I say it? I think I actually miss you people. And school. And church. And everything else.

Everything that made what I left behind feel like home. I find myself daydreaming unnecessary dreams. And feeling unnecessary pain.

It's not that bad a thing.

But that's holding me back.

Good Lord, release me.

And I'll soar like never before.

Until Next Time.

And it's my fault for disturbing you continuously.

I need to stop depending on you so much.

I am not my Own.

2010-07-14T21:59:00.004+08:00

For I have been made new.

Owl City - Meteor Shower

It's amazing what music can do for you. And God wouldn't be able to work in me without music. Seriously, if it weren't for people like Adam Young a.k.a Owl City, I wouldn't be able to get out of my deep funk.

It seems that I'm on a high one day, then way down low again the next day. If I were a mathematical graph, my turning points would be plus/minus infinity. But thankfully, I was depressed yesterday, which means I'm happy today.

Plus, amazingly, nearly loosing myself has actually done me some good. Now, I'm even more me-er than ever. I have been made new. I've finally conquered the demon that's been weighing me down. Now it looks like things can only get better. With one down, that leaves a few more to go. Now I've gotta focus on the one that makes me fear that I'm not gonna study the right thing and get the right job.

Oh, and guess what. The Mazda came today. Seriously. It worked out. We couldn't get the new one because of the colour issue, but we got a second-hand top-of-the-range one. And the colour's just right. So yeah, it's epic!

And one more thing. Guess what day tomorrow is. Other than it being the day I have one less day until I go back to College, it's actually the day I sat for my driving test. Yeah seriously. Go look through my blog archives. I didn't actually blog on that day, but a short while after, so you should be able to equate the dates. Man, I miss driving. Now I have a car, but no license. Ah well. I'll get mine soon enough. 'Till then, patience, or bust.

Until Next Time.

I'm Still Here.

2010-07-09T12:44:00.004+08:00

I want a moment to be real,

want to touch things I don't feel.

Wanna hold on, and feel I belong.

-Goo Goo Dolls

Man, if I thought that I'd been through the worst of the roller coaster ride, then I've been proven utterly wrong. Now I think I've officially experienced the worst bit. So far.

Let's just say I almost entirely lost myself. I almost became anti-me. As in I almost changed my character in an exact opposite to who I am. The last time this happened was nothing compared to this time. No where near as close. So close, that I can't even believe that I'm still here. But thankfully I am. Praise the Lord.

And thus, I'm back on a high again. My exams are finished, and my holidays have started.

I don't really wanna talk about the exams, they're history until I get the results, only I want to say this. I have not felt this much exam stress since SPM. Before SPM actually. SPM was really a lot more relaxed. So now it's sleep and play PS2 with my little brother.

Anyway, I've got another reason to be on high. My Dad's got his license, and he's buying a car. Guess what car he's buying? He's getting a Mazda. A MAZDA!!!! When we first got here, I really wanted to be able to drive a Mazda. And now it looks like it's gonna happen. He's in the middle of the deal, and nothing's definite, but it looks really probable. A bit of issue this morning, there isn't any stock for the colour he wants in the whole of Perth, but hopefully it'll work out.

Once again, I have somehow managed to injure myself without realizing how, or when it happened. I just woke up at 12 this afternoon with an inflamed left ring finger. Now it's all fat and puffy.

Oh and the winter rain has finally kicked in. It's been storming on and off since after my exams yesterday. It's been so long overdue that it's hailing. Not as bad as the hail the day before I left for Perth, but it's still hail nonetheless.

A little rain never did more good than on my dry backyard.

Until Next Time.

Staring at the Moon

2010-06-26T22:50:00.010+08:00

Wondering how you look in this light.

- David Archuletta

It's a full moon tonight. I think I'd probably have mentioned that I have some sort of fixation with the moon. The moon kinda puts a nice glow on everything. And yet, it still leaves everything just as cold.

The roller coaster ride continues. But I'm still holding on. It's funny how fast things can go up and then back down.

Anyway, it's the weekend. Today one of my dad's friends came over for lunch, and as usual my mom made her awesome mutton buriyani. Somehow we always have that when someone comes over. It's kinda her signature dish. I made apple pie, but it didn't turn out right. The pastry went all funny, the apples were too soft and I put to much cinnamon sugar. But oh well. I'll make better apple pie.

Strangely enough, I'm not watching the World Cup. I haven't been watching much at all this year. Maybe it's 'cause I've got exams in a week and a bit. But I haven't been studying much for that either, so I guess my only explanation is that I just don't have the mood for anything. Refer to the roller coaster.

Frankly, I'm blogging because I've got nothing to do before starting math in a short while, and I need someone to talk to. I need to apologise. I feel really kinda bad at the moment. I ask someone to go online and then I don't. What's wrong with me? I've kept the door locked for so long, so why can't I open it now? Maybe I'm just scared of having it slammed in my face.

I'm sorry for dragging you in with me as I sink.

Until Next Time.

I'm not Lost, just Undiscovered.

2010-06-19T21:44:00.005+08:00

Don't you know, that's what we are.

- James Morrison

Yeah, yeah, I know.

I owe you a major update.

Sorry it's been so long. Didn't really have the time, or the mood.

Life's been a massive mojo rollercoaster. Seriously. Oh and I learnt in physics why the loops on rollercoasters are like oval and not round. It's all about going upside down and not falling down. And that's pretty much how my life's been. It's throwing me up, down and upside down. I guess the only thing keeping me from falling down is the Lord. Sorry if I make this sound all religionistic. But it's true, my faith is a major part of who I am, and I wouldn't compromise that for anything. And I wouldn't be typing this if it weren't for my faith. God's pulled me through a lot of stuff.

Anyway, it's been pretty intense. At least I feeling much better, and not emo anymore or anything. I was a while ago, but I figured it's not really worth blogging about. I kinda isolated the problem, and funny enough it's mostly because of my past. The things I did and the things I didn't do. Sometimes I wish I could do it all again. Don't we all? But I figure, I'll probably make a bigger mess, so I'm content with it for the moment.

College's been having tests continually, every week. Not much time to relax. I've got a massive Human Bio one this Tuesday which I've gotta study for. Plus an English oral about Romeo and Juliet, and I've gotta prepare my Math assignment and do a write up for Physics on electromagnetism. Sounds like a monstrous load of work, I know.

Aaaand, I just changed my blog layout. I think it's pretty cool. You? I liked the old one, it's just, sometimes it's nice to switch things around. Go in the opposite direction. Just as long as you don't compromise your values, right? Plus I had my eye on this layout for a while. Since I finished Spm last year actually.

Okay, so today me and my dad went to the heart of the city for a careers expo. He's seriously pressuring me to think hard about my future. But it was a good trip out nonetheless. It was a beautiful day, compared to the rainy week that we've been having. That's the funny part about Perth, clear weekends, but cloudy weekdays. Took the bus and then the train all the way to Esplanade, and with my student concession fare it's pretty cheap. I swear, if driving weren't so much fun I would just use public transportation for the rest of my life. Plus you get to meet the entirety of human existence. Like this guy who was at the back of the bus we took all the way home from Perth station, which was the same bus I take to college every weekday. My dad reckons he's had one too many beers. But he was a pretty nice loud guy. Went around shaking hands with everyone at the back of the bus and stuff. But enough about him.

Backtracking now, after the expo, which wasn't as big as my dad thought it would be, we figured since we already in the heart of the city, we might as well visit St. Mary's Cathedral. The Cathedral was pretty awesome. The Cathedral was having some massive renovations, and just reopened last Christmas, and it was really beautiful. There's a blend of the old and the new. The new stuff was just simply amazing. I loved the wooden floor and the smooth new wooden pews with the Southern Cross outlining the cross on each of the pews. But even then, there were some bits where the Cathedral didn't really look complete. Parts where there was most of a wall removed, but not completely, so there's brick showing.

So I figured that I'm like that Cathedral. I'm a blend of the old and the new. The past and the present. Nonetheless, I'm still me, and I'll always be. I may have had major renovations done to me over the years, but I've still got parts of me that are still incomplete. There are still bits that could do with some work. And with God as the master architect, I'm pretty sure that it'll get done.

I'm not Lost, just Undiscovered.

Until Next Time.

Pax Interim

2010-05-25T09:48:00.003+08:00

Once again, I've gotta apologise for the depressing nature of my last post.

Man, if I had a nickel for every time I said that.

Anyways, I'm feeling much better, and the civil war has ended, leading to a peace.

And it's pretty awesome, 'cause what took it's place is my old burning flame for God, only stronger.

It's all because of me agreeing to sing to mass and Taize prayer on Sunday. And that was really great. Now I feel all refreshed and stuff. Thanks to the Big Guy Up Top.

And thanks to my lil' sis' who's always willing to listen, even when I've got nothing good to say.

Well, now I've got an English assessment today, and I am totally blank about it. Seriously. And of all things, English. Plus I've got loads of other stuff for my various other subjects this week as well. Looks like I'm gonna have less time sleeping.

Although based on all the test results I'm getting back, it seems that I didn't waste my last 2 years in SMKTTDI. But it can still go horribly wrong if I don't keep up. Which is not gonna happen, trust me. I'm not gonna let it.

Now, the English and Human Bio homework isn't gonna write itself, (although it would be good if it did) so I guess I'd better get down to it.

Until Next Time.

Civil War

2010-05-18T17:51:00.002+08:00

Hey people.

I'm back.

How're you all?

Once again, I wanted to blog earlier, but, well, time escaped me. And I was totally blank.

Okay, so now I've got my topics in order. Firstly, you might notice that I'm just blogging in one colour fonts now. Well, that's to save your eyesight and to save me time. Don't have much of that nowadays. So if you're seriously upset with the lack of colourfulness, then my sincerest apologies, and you can make your complaints on the left.

Anyways, today was my Human Bio test. Which is why Iv'e been trying to study, but only succeeded last night. The test wasn't too bad, just a couple of tricky ones and one question that totally left me blank. Shouldn't be too bad. Before we did the test though, our teacher brought in a sheep's brain and dissected it infront of us, showing us the parts and shapes and colours and stuff. She even let us touch it. Other than that, English class was pretty boring today. It was mostly empty, so yeah.

My dad's just come back from Malaysia this morning. It's a good and a bad, but I'm not complaining, at least not verbally. Oh, and he brought a whole bunch of stuff including my cert and plaque and bsn share thingy that I got from the, hmmm, what's the English translation again, Academic Achievement Day. Now I've got something to display on my room wall.

Aaah, and now the deep bit this post, as well as the reason for the title. Well, I'm kinda feeling pretty weird right now. Not depressed, but funny nonetheless. It's like there's an internal war going on inside me, between two different parts on me. And the long dorment part wants out, and the dominant part won't let it. I'm torn between trying ( and failing miserably) at being the hero, or just giving in and becoming the villain. I'm supposed to know what's right, aren't I? Then why isn't it that easy to quell this insurgence? Something that easy's just become very complicated. And the thing is, it's not something you tell anyone when they ask, "How are you?". You just smile and say fine. Like always. When actually another seige's on the way. Well, looks like I had better reinforce the battlements and muster the troops. I don't wanna get caught off guard.

Anyways, I shouldn't burden you with it. Don't worry, I'll find my way through it.

Until Next Time.

Relapse.

2010-05-12T16:36:00.002+08:00

Hi.

Yeah, the first change you might notice is that I've gone back to my old template, with a slight change of font. Well, sometimes we have to backtrack in order to find the best results.

Honestly, I'm just blogging to relax.

I've had a really bad day. Firstly, I nearly missed the bus to college. Or rather I missed the one I wanted to take, but was saved by another which so happens the timing has changed for. I wasn't late in any case. But I was yesterday. I've gotta get my timing right.

Then, physics just totally messed with mind. Major psychology coming into play here.

After that came the Chem test. I was rather relaxed about it, 'cause it's all stuff from Form 4, and so I stayed up until 10.30 watching NCIS last night. Well, the test wasn't as smooth as I hoped. It wasn't hard, it's just my time management in an exam has been a little rusty. So I ran out of time.

Maths was surprising. For some twisted reason, differentiation and integration was somewhat enjoyable. Weird stuff.

Oh, but I came home to apple pie, and Mackers (McD) for dinner later. So maybe it's not SO bad. Yeah.

But I do have a tonne of Human Bio homework to start and finish tonight. So, gotta get started.

Until Next Time.

I'm not together but I'm getting there.

2010-05-11T10:42:00.003+08:00

Hi.

Sorry about the last post. I was feeling kinda bad.

Since I watched Eragon on Saturday, I figured, it's better to ask for forgiveness than permission right?

Anyway I'm better now. I figured life's worth living. And music kinda helped me through.

Last week's been pretty interesting. One by one my college friends have been disappearing. Dunno where they've all gone. But it's okay.

For mother's day we went all the way up north to Joondalup to the Neil Hawkins Park. The park's pretty famous for birds, so it was pretty nice. The park was full, surprisingly, and everywhere you look there's a bunch of people playing Aussie rules football, or footy ad they call it, which is the rugby kind of football, not the soccer kind. It got pretty hard to tell where one game ended and another began to be honest.

I just came back from mass. Seeing as Tuesday's my only free morning, I try and go to mass on Tuesdays. Prayed for a certain little sister who wasn't feeling too good, and surprisingly the readings were sort of appropriate. I hope you're better sis.

Oh, and I have just successfully made the perfect cup of Milo. Ever. It just has that awesome chocolatey creaminess.

Final note, I've got a Chem test tomorrow. I was supposed to have it last Friday, but my teacher keeps pushing it further and further forward. And all of my other teachers are threatening us with tests too. Sigh. Gotta study then.

My last apologies for the fact that I just run through everything like a bullet train. Need to stop doing that.

Until next time.

It Might Take A While.

2010-05-08T23:41:00.006+08:00

Seriously emo post incoming.

I've been wanting to post something up since Thursday.

But I haven't had anything to say really.

I finished my Human Bio assesment on Tuesday. And my Chemistry experiment on Wednesday. And my English assesment on Thursday. Then I just felt free.

And I lost my head. Did a completely stupid thing. Something I swore never to do again. Man, I'm an idiot. And my idiocy knows no bounds.

Now I'm just depressed. It seems like nothing I can ever do is enough. There will never be a proper sense of achievement for me.

Call me successful? Pfft. There's 6 billion people more successful than me.

Everything I touch just crumbles to the ground, doesn't it? Nothing I can do is ever self-sufficient. It never lasts. It's useless. Totally useless.

I wonder why I even try. Well, that's it I think. I don't try. I don't even think. I just do stuff, feel excited, and then wonder why it feels so empty and hollow. Why it can never be what I want it to be.

And maybe that's just my curse. Seriously, sometimes I wonder, if I fall asleep tonight and don't wake up, who's gonna remember me. Certainly not you.

My entire life's been a lie of enormous proportions. I've just been way way too thick to see it.

Now the blindfold's been taken off. But it makes no difference, the room's still pitch-black. I guess I'll stagger around in the dark for a while.

At least I don't have false hope any more.

Just leave me alone. Please. I'm not worth your time.

I'll find my own way to a place called home. Someday.

It might take a while.

The Plan.

2010-05-01T23:53:00.003+08:00

Hey.

It's the weekend, and I thought I might give you an update on my week so far.

Well, it's like this.

Seeing as I had no college on Monday, my week was cut short to 4 days.

This week in college has been a pretty good one. Especially Friday. I managed to buy a Physics book for 1/3 the price. I bought my $198 Calculator. And I discovered that my newfound friends are pretty good when staying back after class in the Library to do Chem.

Which sorta brings me to what I've learnt this week. God is Awesome!!! And His plan is totally awesome! But it's funny how we get caught up in the moment and get angry with Him when everything goes wrong because we can't see the Plan. But then suddenly you come to a moment where you sort of get a brief glimpse of that Plan. Then you go, "Ugh, what was I thinking?" Well, I've sorta had that moment.

And I just wanna say, Okay God, I trust You. Whatever Your plan is, I want in. I don't need to know what it is, just tell me what You want me to do.

My little brother had another workshop today, so we had to go all the way to Fremantle. Being, well, me, I had to figure out how to get him, Mom and myself there right on time. Wasn't too hard. Took a bus, a train and another bus. The place where he needed to go was right at the base of Monument Hill, so after we dropped him in, we took a look at all the WWI and II memorials. Seeing as ANZAC day was just last week as I said, all the monuments had flowers placed below them. A pretty awesome sight. To go back, I decided to change our route and try to go past the Cinema on the way to Stirling. It worked, and we managed to watch Iron man 2. IT's my second movie here, my first being How to Train a Dragon, which was last Sunday. How to Train a Dragon was pretty good, but I found Iron man 2 a bit disappointing because Tony just acts like a spoilt brat in this one. But some of the effects were cool, War Machine (working with Iron man) was epic and Black Widow just pwned everyone. And I loved all innocent stabs into the Avengers. Can't wait for that. Oh, and the secret scene after the credits just made me ever more excited.

Anyway, that's about all from me. Just a couple of notes. My workload in class in steadily on the uphill, plus I've got an assessment on English and Human Bio. Wish me the best.

Gotta run.

Until Next Time,

A Jam-Packed Dude.

Freshman tales.

2010-04-27T10:39:00.003+08:00

Hey guys.

Sorry it's been so long since my last post.

I know I promised to blog about my first day.

But see, my little brother just recently discovered the addictive joys of Facebook games, so he's been on the computer practically all the time.

Sunday was a public holiday, namely ANZAC day, so I didn't have classes yesterday, and I only start after lunch on Tuesdays, which is why I'm blogging now.

Okay, so lemme tell you about college.

It's pretty cool. I'm taking 5 classes, namely English 3A 3B, Maths 3C 3D, Human Bio 3A 3B, Chemistry 3A 3B, and Physics 3A 3B. My timetable is pretty good, and I have all subjects on Monday, whereas only English and Human Bio on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and Maths, Chem and Physics on Wednesdays and Fridays. My teachers are pretty good, and I particularly like my Maths and Physics teachers. We don't have the concept of a class, like we had in school. It's just like, get into class at the right time and you're okay, then go to the next class, where ever that may be. My college isn't that big, so it isn't too hard to get to classes. Oh, and my booklist is really expensive, even without converting to Ringgit. Try $198.00 for a calculator, and $65.00 for a text book. Yeah.

I take the bus every day, and my student card is also a public transportation card, and as a student, I get a concession fare, so it's like $1.00 a day to go to college. It takes about 15 minutes to amble to the bus stop, then a 10 minute ride and a 3 minute walk from the bus stop and I'm there.

The good thing about the April Start intake is the classes are pretty small, and you have most people in the same classes. So I've made a few friends who are all in my Human Bio, and English classes. Most are in some of my other classes too, so I've got a pretty decent band. Nearly all of them, are local students, and surprisingly I'm one of the youngest, as some of them went into Uni and came out, deciding to take another course and needing the subject prerequisites, some want another degree and are taking the necessary prerequisites, and some just haven't been studying in a while. All of them want to go into Uni though.

So yeah, that's college. You know what, I've gotten myself involved in the Youth group in Church, so things are really getting better now. I'm starting to actually call this place home now.

Oh, and I've officially stuffed my iPod to the maximum point. Just under 700 songs. Now I need to remove some of my unheard songs if I wanna make space for Owl City's new song Vanilla Twilight. An awesome song by the way.

One last thing, in case you were wondering, ANZAC day means Australia and New Zealand Army Corps day, and it's a day commemorating all the soldiers who fought in wars to protect the country. My college had an ANZAC day service on Friday, so I pretty much learnt what it is. Oh, and you know what the best part about the holiday is? Free refreshments after the service. Aweseomeness.

Anyway, gotta go. Gotta cook lunch and get to college.

Until Next Time.

A Freshman Dude.

Stop This Train.

2010-04-12T13:24:00.001+08:00

I wanna get off and go home again.

I can't take the speed it's movin' in.

I know I can't.

Honestly, won't someone stop this train.

-John Mayer

Hey guys.

How're you doing?

I've got the continuation of my story here so far to tell you.

Firstly, well, you know how I mentioned that I had my college all settled? Well, I've pulled out of that one and successfully enrolled in another doing the same course. You see, with my new college, I can leave at 8 and get there before 8.30. Cuts my travel time down substantially. So it's good.

And I start next week. Wow. It's soo fast. Can't believe it. Things are just gonna get harder huh?

And that brings me to the song at the top by John Mayer. Amazing song, go take a listen to it. But what's more important is it sorta sums up what it's like for me now.

And yeah, I do wanna go home. But you know they say you can never really go home. 'Cause things now aren't the way they were when you left. And they never will be.

It's really quiet and peaceful in the house right now, since the terror also known as my little brother is at a workshop at the moment. If only it was this peaceful in my mind.

I keep getting gnawed and nibbled by doubt and insecurities.

I'm looking back at 18 years of my life and wondering, "Did I really do that?"

It feels like all I've ever done is either a dream or completely wrong.

Then I look forward and wonder, "Can I really live up to that?"

Basically, self-confidence on all time low. Again.

But, hey, at least I've realised that I'll never stop this train.

Until Next Time,

A Thoughtful Dude.

Boringly bored

2010-03-28T23:21:00.002+08:00

And boredly boring.

Will College just hurry up and get here?

Yeah, I know I'm so gonna be regretting this once it comes.

But for now. Bring it on.

Anything but this utter waste of time.

And the worst part is that I have not a soul to leech my boredom off.

Not a soul to exterminate it.

I walk a lonely road.

A pretty new one, I admit. But lonely nonetheless.

Take me out of here. Please?

G'day Mate.

2010-03-27T21:09:00.004+08:00

It's past the 23rd so what does that mean?

Yeah, I'm in Perth.

And It's pretty cool down here.

I went to my college two days ago and guess what? Come on, take a guess. Well, I've got everything settled. I'm going into college baby! After Easter break, which ends on the 19th. So I start on the 19th.

Speaking of Easter, it's funny, 'cause Easter's a pretty big holiday here. Especially with all the chocolate. Not like Malaysia, but with the number if Christians in the country, you'll understand.

Life here's, well, awesome. Kinda expensive when compared to Malaysian prices, but there's compensation. It's quite an adventure. Well, the good thing is I need not worry 'bout language, because it's English all the way. Although you do get Italians and Greeks and Croatians and loads of other Europeans who do speak their own language too.

One thing though, I do kinda miss home. Not so much the place as the people. I practically know no one, just a few of my parents friends. So it's kinda strange. I have all the time in the world but no one to spend it with. Compared to a week ago in Malaysia when I had no time at all but everyone to spend it with. Ah, the irony.

Oh, and I totally miss my Myvi. I can't drive here, because Malaysian licenses don't apply, plus my automobile requirements a negligible. Which means I have to take either a bus, a train and another bus or two consecutive buses to get to college. The former takes about an hour and a half, but the latter takes over 2 hours. Plus I have to take buses or walk everywhere else. But I don't really mind the exercise.

Finally, I think I should apologise for the absence of pictures, even at this crucial juncture. I don't have my own camera, and well, now's not really the best time to ask for one.

Tata, and thanks for reading. Take care. I'll try and update after the first day of college, just to fill you in.

Until Next Time,

A Dude Down Under

The Spirit of the Moment.

2010-03-19T12:50:00.004+08:00

Aloha.

I'm kinda just blogging for lack of a better thing to do. After this I resume housework, so this is kinda my time off.

These few days was just like, go out, eat, look around, show Uncle Kevin places and pack stuff. It was good. Uncle Kevin went back on Wednesday, along with a portion of Anish's Lego and the PS2, so he should be jumping for joy for a while. Yesterday was kinda hectic. After dinner at my dad's friend's place, me and my dad just packed and sorted and packed until 2.30 in the morning. Yeah. And the thing is, it's my dad. Only. That doesn't make things a whole lot better, especially at 2 in the morning. Well, you see, we leave on the 23rd, so we need to get almost everything outta here before then, which explains the rush.

Oh, I got myself new headphones, so at least I have my music to keep me company. Thank goodness my dad didn't take my iPod to Perth.

Anyways, I went for my dental today. It was supposed to be on Wednesday, but being the genius that I am, I went for a morning appointment in the evening. So they rescheduled it. Well, the orthodontic clinic was jam packed today for some reason. Finally managed to go in and well they took a while on my teeth. I was kinda hoping that I would have been able to remove it, so I was waiting for the verdict by the doc. Well, I have good news and I have bad news and I have worse news.

The bad news : I'm still wearing my braces.

The worse news : It's tighter than ever before.

The good news : I'm coming back for Christmas for another appointment and hopefully to remove it. Which means you'll see me for Christmas this year.

I've been wearing braces for more than 3 years now. In Christmas, 4 years. Wow. They feel like just another organ in my body. It'll be weird to take them out. When I take them out.

You know what, my life feels kinda weird now. Kinda like just before I left for NS. Only worse. School's over and done with. So is National Service. Okay, I've gotten 9A's and 2B's, along with a lot of experience, friends, Co-curricular activities and fun in school. Okay, I got best male cadet, and some other stuff, along with having an awesome time in camp, making new friends and eating. It's over. Time to get to the next thing in life. College. Perth.

Only thing is, you tend to miss the familiar faces. Especially now that it's either everyone else is so busy, or you're busy, or both. Most of my batch are all studying, or working, or something. Seng Fatt's busy studying hospitality in Taylors. Eshton's busy being a babysitter in IKEA. Inigo's busy saving the world over in Kenya, Africa. Sherwin's busy being a rockstar. Ryan's well, goodness knows what he's busy doing. Even my juniors are all busy.

It's like I'm here, but I'm not. Present, but absent. A hallucination. Like a time traveller that's returned to his own time. I'm half-way in, half-way out, full-way lost. Weird huh?

Anyway, I don't wanna burden you any longer with my weirdness.

Until Next Time.

A Ghostly Dude.

The Grass. Greener? Nope, didn't think so.

2010-03-15T11:27:00.004+08:00

Hye.

Hai.

Hi.

How you all doing?

I have nothing better to do for an hour, so I might as well keep you updated.

So I've been back for, wait, how many days now? Right, 4 1/2 .

It's strange. When I was in Sabah I missed K.L like crazy, but now that I'm back it just doesn't feel like anything special. Ah well. As they say, the grass is always greener on the other side. Right now the new other side's Perth. By the way, my college intake starts on April the 19th, so I'll be leaving on March the 23rd. Rather early, but I need to get settled in.

Anyways I've just been spending my days going out and helping my dad with genaral house decontamination and clearing up. We need to get loads of things packed up before then.

My dad invited this really interesting (not to mention quite fun) old man from Perth named Uncle Kevin. He's a retired grandfather, but he's been helping my parents out a lot in Perth. So my dad kinda invited him to visit K.L for a while. It's an adventure for him, and I dare say he's enjoying it rather a lot. But, he goes back on Wednesday. And did I mention he's an awesome dude?

So, if you see me walking aroung with him, you know the story.

You know what, I'm getting bored of this plain blog background. I think it's time I shook things up a lil'. Plus, I think my blog is seriously under-read. It's time I changed that.

Until Next Time.

Oh, I'm Back.

2010-03-13T01:01:00.005+08:00

Yeah.

Earlier than I was supposed to.

But I guess that's 'cause of Spm results.

PLKN has so far been a ball.

Massively challenging, but awesomely fun.

Hey, they ain't no fun without challenges right?

So, how does The Honarable Datuk Leftenant Santana Ashanth Royan PLKN, Leader of Company Charlie, Mock Parliament representative for P7 San Shui, Best Marching Command Leader and Best Male Trainee for San Shui NS Camp 1st Batch 7th Series/2010 sound? Wicked cool no?

But yeah, I'm bald. What can I do about that?

Anyways, the 11th was the feared day, A.k.a. SPM results day. I must admit, I wasn't too worried, but now and again certain discouraging thoughts did tend to do the tango in my mind. Okay, so straight to it. Oh, and they decided to go with the new A+ grading system, which makes it harder on us. Well, here it is. Lemme lay it out for ya. Enjoy.

Ready?

Malay Language A

English A+

Moral Studies A

History A

Mathematics A+

Additional Mathematics A

Physics A-

Chemistry A+

Biology A

English for Science

and Technology B+

Bible Knowledge B+

My results are awesome, but nonetheless I can't help feeling depressed at the two B+ that stain my beautiful result slip. Is it wrong to mourn the loss of 2 valuable subjects by a mere slight miss? Off by just one or two marks. But as they say, a miss is as good as a mile.

Anyways, I've got A's in more than everything I need, and now chances are opening up. The bright sun of my future has just broke the dawn, signalling an end to the reign of the darkness of the night. Time to get myself in top gear for college.

Until Next Time,

An (Almost) Excellant Dude.

The Last Leg.

2010-02-16T10:13:00.003+08:00

Hey.
I return on the final day of my holidays to blog once more before I report back in camp later today.

The Chinese New Year holidays has been awesome. I've been staying at my friend Graham Ho's place for the past 4 days. First it was 3 of us, Graham, plus me and another K.L dude, Ah Weng. But then after 2 days 3 more K.L people popped in to make it 5 K.L-ers in Graham's house. The 3 are Wong, Kelvin and Edward. Graham, Wong and Kelvin are in my block, Foxtrot but Edward is in the next block, Echo. Ah Weng isn't in either, he's from Hotel Block.

We've just been wandering aroung Tawau, eating, shopping a 'lil, and eating. I swear if I don't start working out again I'm gonna grow fat from all this food. Plus I'm rather broke. I've also seemed to have had 3 days of birthday surprises. Hahaha thanks guys. I might even get another one when I get back to camp. All the trainers and trainees seem to know me, so I'm in for it, let me tell you.

Anyways the good part is the last leg of my training starts now. One month to go! One awesome month! With this last leg comes Competitions galore. Marching, Obstacle conquering, water sports (kayak and rafting) as well as normal sports (football, basketball, volleyball and netball)
Also, with this last leg comes a resume and an increase of the burden on my shoulder. I need to prove myself as Lt. Santana Ashanth Royan, Leader of Company Charlie. I need to earn my two stripe rank the hard way. I need to lead my company into victory.

Ah, with great power (and rank) comes great responsibility.

Anyways I don't wanna burden you with my stuff too.
Final note: Happy Chinese New Year to everyone. Amd I mean everyone.
And Happy Valentine's Day. I love you all. Isn't that what the holiday's all about?
And (post)birthday greetings. Thanks to everyone who wished me, and to everyone who didn't for various reasons too.

This'll be my last post till I return from Service on the 14th of March.

Take Care.

Until Next Time,
A Dude back on Service.

National Service Greetings.

2010-02-12T20:04:00.004+08:00

Hi.

It's been forever, I know.

I apologise. Hey, I've got no internet access in camp. What do I do?

Anyways, just a short post. I'm out of camp for Chinese New Year holidays. Just 4 days, then training resumes.

NS has been interesting. I've been posted to San Shui camp, Tawau, Sabah. Well it's been challenging too. Physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Not to mention more fun than a kid with a bouncy ball.

I'm not gonna talk 'bout it yet, 'cause it's not over, so be patient. When I'm done. Then I'll talk.
For now, mum's the word.

Right now, I'm staying with a friend from my block. Enjoying and exploring Tawau. The places. The food. The people.

Just wanna say to anyone who reads this blog, thanks alot, and sorry for the unavailability to post updates. Those will come once I'm done. And I've got a lot to tell you.

Finally,
Take Care.

Until Next Time,
A Dude on holiday from Service.

Ayubowan

2009-12-30T17:08:00.002+08:00

Hi!

Aloha!

I'm back from Sri Lanka.

This post's gonna be mega short, 'cause I don't have much time.

Just wanted to say hi, and explain a little 'bout the trip.

It was, well, exhausting. But also kinda good. At least I'm happy my mom's happy to visit her family. It's been good seeing all my grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins on my mom's side.

Unfortunately, I have no pics. Yet. I may post some up, but that depends whether my dad uploads the pics from his camera before I leave for National Service.

Yeah. I leave on the 2nd. Gosh. I have no time to breathe at all. But I'm not too scared. I'm more excited. Now, until then, anyone wanna hang out? I have, what, 2 days? That's enough. I hope.

Until Next Time,

An Out of Breath Dude.

Misguided Ghosts

2009-12-23T19:26:00.005+08:00

(1, 2, 3, 4)

I'm going away for a while
But I'll be back, don't try and follow me
'Cause I'll return as soon as possible
See I'm trying to find my place
But it might not be here where I feel safe
We all learn to make mistakes

And run
From them, from them
With no direction
We'll run from them, from them
With no conviction

'Cause I'm just one of those ghosts
Traveling endlessly
Don't need no roads
In fact they follow me

And we just go in circles

Well Now I'm told that this is life
And pain is just a simple compromise
So we can get what we want out of it
Would someone care to classify,
Of broken hearts and twisted minds
So I can find someone to rely on

And run
To them, to them
Full speed ahead
Oh you are not, Useless
We are just

Misguided ghosts
Traveling endlessly
The ones we trusted the most
Pushed us far away
And there's no one road
We should not be the same
But I'm just a ghost
And still they echo me

They echo me in circles

-Paramore

----------------------------------------------------------

Sri Lanka in less than 24 hours.

See you soon.

I've got a very small 3 day window before leaving for N.S on the 2nd.

Until then,

Adious.

Merry Christmas.

Above all the Bustle You'll hear

2009-12-22T03:03:00.002+08:00

Silver Bells.

It's Christmas time in the city.

Today's been a cyclonic rush of a hectic day.

Or rather, yesterday. It's 3am right?

And I mean like mega mad. Really mega mad.

A lot of things happened today.

I don't have the time to explain in detail about it.

Basically it's...

Orphanage visits,

a Godsent taxi driver,

crappy caroling,

weird mood changes,

a dental appointment

(with corresponding but still maddening toothache),

a game of insane twister,

and the works.

And let me tell you, that is enough to knock a man out cold for more than a week.

I feel more exhausted than an Albatross flying south for the winter.

I'm leaving for Sri Lanka in 3 days time and I haven't packed a thing.

But that's normal for me right?

I also have to get the remnants of 18 years of living in this house disposed and disbursed by then. Time to get into a cleaning frenzy.

Now, the question of the day, as of 2.30am yesterday is,

"Must I lose a friend by sticking up for my dear pet sister?"

The person who penned the idiom "You can't have your cake and eat it" must have been a total humbug.

Until Next Time,

A Maddeningly Tired Dude.

Said the Night Wind to the Little Lamb

2009-12-18T14:44:00.008+08:00

Do you see what I see?

Do you see what I see?

Yup, it's that time again.

It's the most wonderful time of the year.

With the kids jingle belling and everyone telling you be of good cheer.

Sorry it took so long for me to feel the spirit of Christmas, but hey, I've been busy. Only now the usual activities which signal the start of Christmas have occurred. Such as?

Well, firstly, I joined caroling on Tuesday. I had promised to help Kenneth out (he's handling Youth Caroling this year) , but with all the stuff I had to do before I leave I told him "Sorry, count me out." Then when I went to send my little brother for Children's Caroling on Tuesday, Alina asked me to help the Youth 'cause they have insufficient guypower.

So I got myself roped in. Every night except Wednesday. I'd forgotten how much fun Spreading the joy of Christmas through song was.

Then, on Wednesday, I sent my car for repairs. It came back Thursday evening. Remember the huge dent on the side of the car I told you about a few months ago? And the scratch on the front that I got at my BK trial? Well, it's fixed now. It is gone. Gone! Gone!!!!!!

My batmobile is back to normal. Now my marvelous machine of midnight mayhem can make mad muffins in the moonlight. Hahaha.

Yeah that pretty much tells you how ecstatic I am. Plus, my dad just filled a full tank today. Hurrah! Now all that's left to do is totally clean it upside down. Then it shall be complete.

Also, I just set up the mini Christmas tree that I bought last year when I was working for IKEA. So it really feels like Christmas now. I gave almost all my other Christmas decor and the big tree to my Grandpa since we can't take it with us. That means new ones next year. I'm gonna have one hell of a time choosing them. Oh Yeah!

Unfortunately, I also have a bit of, well, not exactly bad news, but some humbugging news. I'm going to Sri Lanka for Christmas. Yes, Ceylon, the land south of India shaped like a teardrop. You see, I have to see my relatives on my mom's side for the last time before leaving to Australia. It's sad really, 'cause I never have much to do there. Ah well. I leave early 24th morning, and I'll be back on the 30th.

Another thing, my older brother is coming back on the 28th. Yeah, while we're in Sri Lanka soliciting with relatives. He gets to party for two nights with a fully fixed Myvi. -.-

Plus, he gets my room since I'm clearing out for National Service on the 2nd.

Oh, and with my joining of caroling this year, I immerse myself once again in the murky depths of Church politics. Sigh. And it seems very heavily laden this year. But I shalt keep my mouth shut. Mum's the word.

I'm gonna end with a little challenge. As the winter solstice draws near, you find that the sky looks really really cool. So next time you get out of your house, take a look. You'll be surprised at what you see. Even during the night. Hey, stars are cool right?

Until Next Time,

A Christmas-filled dude.

Yo ho ho and a bottle of budweiser.

2009-12-14T01:31:00.006+08:00

Hi guys.

I'm back with more post-SPM activities.

These days I feel so nocturnal. Like an insomniac. I can't sleep much at all. There's just so much to do.

So Saturday night was the R.O.C.K. (Church Youth Group)'s Christmas Party. It was quite good, but under attended by the youths. Some of them were caroling, and others out of town, which explains it. The food was okay, with lamb, turkey, pasta and other stuff. Leon came back from Melbourne, so it was quite a good meet up with him. Wanted to go out with him and eat later, but it didn't work out, so went home. Watched Valkyrie, then went on Facebook. Got bored and hungry, so me and Sherwin went out to Makbul to eat at one in the morning. Slept at 3.30.

Sunday night was the SMKTTDI senior farewell party. It was held at Freindz Restaurant in Millennium Square, Section 14. The theme was pirates, and was organized by my classmate, Emielee (with more than a little help from my former assistant monitor, Haniesha) Knowing that almost everybody won't be following the theme, I felt bad for Em and decided to put on a pirate-y outfit. Black t-shirt with horizontal white stripes, black bandanna, near-black jeans and white and black Converse shoes.

As usual, picked up Seng Fatt, Eshton, and this time Amir and his equipment. Met Heng at the library, since he was leading the way. Hey, I had no idea where Millennium Square is okay. Eshton went in Heng's car, it was just me, Fatt, Amir and his stuff. Amir was performing, so he sorta practiced in the car on the way. I knew both song that he was singing since he was singing John Mayer and Jason Mraz, two of my favourite artists. Amir was the first to perform,but he fumbled a bit with the lyrics. I wanted to go up and help him, but I didn't wanna steal his limelight. After him, we ate, but the food was nothing to boast about. Dzikri and his band were next, since he's Em's cousin, and they performed quite good.

I got myself into the only game too. Basically, it went like this. Four people per group. Three groups. Three squares. The four have to put a certain number of hands and legs into the square, and only that amount. My group was Seng Fatt, Ryan and Sapawi. Our challenge was three legs and two hands it the box. So, me being the lightest, did a handstand (supported by the other three) and each of them stood on one leg. Then for the second round, it was three hands and two legs. We epic failed this one. So we were the first group to lose. It was a good game nonetheless.

Then N.O.T.A performed 3 songs. Khid and Burhan sang. And Syakir's brother was lead guitar since G only could come at the last minute. Syak on bass, Flap on drums, Koh on rhythm guitar. We had fun moshing and singing. After that came lucky draw. I was 5 numbers away from getting a prize. Then, I was nominated one of the three best dressed for the evening. See, I knew it was a good idea wearing the costume. Didn't win though. Hanie did. She had an awesome costume. N.O.T.A played again, we danced and screamed into the mike, then we ended.

Then me, Fatt, Sharvind G, Naviraj and Danesh all left. We went to the Curve, and met Ivor, Ryan, Sapawi and Eshton there. Went into Library for some post-SPM fun, then went home. Got back at 1am, and surprisingly my dad didn't really care. What mattered to him was Liverpool versus Arsenal.

Yeah, and that's about it. Oh, did I mention? My National Service letter came on Saturday. The official one. Now it looks like I have to go I guess. Nevermind, I don't really mind. Hey, it's a good experience right? Right?

Anyways, I've gotta go. The mess in my closet calls me. Gotta start sorting out for Australia.

Until Next Time,

A Nocturnal Dude.

What on Earth is a Geoduck?

2009-12-10T23:46:00.004+08:00

Hey.

How are you?

Firstly, I wanna apologise for this mornings post. My mood was really low, and my post wasn't too cheery. I guess it's because the first day after SPM didn't really feel like I thought it would. It was so boring, and even stressful. There's a lot of insecurities about the future that you feel when you end school. Like, what to do, where to go, how to do it, stuff like that.

Anyway, I feel better now, even somewhat more excited.

Today's my mom's birthday. So, we took a short break from cleaning the house to go for mass and have dinner out.

We went to this totally awesome place called Pantai Seafood Restaurant in Kampung Kayu Ara. Seriously, it was mega cool.

This restaurant serves a variety of rare and exotic seafood delicacies that are super fresh. Part of the attraction is seeing weird and wacky fish, shellfish and clams floating about in the tanks.

Among other things, they sell Alaskan King Crab. Alaskan King Crab is a huge crab caught in the waters off, (duh) Alaska and is extremely rare and hard to come by because of the difficulty in which fishermen have to go through to catch it. The one they sell at Pantai Seafood is the Red Alaskan King Crab, which is the best and most highly-prized of the four types of King Crab.

They also have weird looking Australian Lobsters, Scottish Razor Clams (which look like bamboo), Snow crabs, Abalone, Japanese Snails and so much more. You name it, it's seafood, it's weird, and they've got it.

One thing in particular caught my eye. a little thing called a geoduck. Never heard of it? I'm not surprised. If you have, then good on you.

The geoduck (pronounced "gooey duck"), Panopea abrupta, is a species of very large saltwater clam, a marine bivalve mollusk. The unusual name of the clam is derived from a Lushootseed (Nisqually)word gʷídəq meaning "dig deep", and its phonemically counterintuitive spelling is likely the result of poor transcription rather than anything having to do with ducks. Alternate spellings include gweduc, gweduck and goiduck. It is sometimes known as the king clam, or when translated literally from the Chinese characters 象拔蚌, the elephant trunk clam.

So, what did I eat?

Certainly not the King Crab. RM238 per kg. Not the geoduck. Also RM238 per kg. Snow

crab? RM228 per kg. Australian Lobster? RM298 per kg.

A simple, four dish meal. Fried rice (their fried rice is simply awesome), sweet and sour

meat crab, their famous kailan fried two ways and steamed fish. All of it was great.

No complaints for any of us. The service there was also excellent.

So, bottom line. The seafood there's really weird, and really good, but also really pricey.

If you really wanna enjoy this place, you must have deep pockets and guts to boot.

Until Next Time,

A content dude.

Talk about disappointment.

2009-12-10T01:08:00.003+08:00

I've been waiting for this moment for 2 years.

And it was so fulfilling yesterday.

Finishing SPM.

Now the magic's gone.

That was fast.

I've just been at home the whole day, helping to clean, tidy and neaten the house.

Oh, and I cut myself on the underside of my right foot after falling of a chair. I was trying to put something back into a shelf. It was kinda funny actually. Unfortunately, my movements are somewhat restricted because the cut opens whenever I walk. Sigh. Nothing to laugh about there.

The worst part is I have no idea how on earth I could have cut my foot. I didn't find anything evidence to that crime.

On the bright side, I've got another full day of cleaning, moving stuff and making the house presentable to look forward to tomorrow. Doesn't that sound great?

Sigh.

If this is what freedom feels like then take it back.

Please.

Say it ain't so.

I will not go.

Turn the lights off.

Carry me home.

Until next time,

A "free" dude

Day Nine.

2009-12-08T18:05:00.003+08:00

This is it. Gasp. Are you ready?

Chemistry one

Was not bad. A few that I'm unsure of, but it was fine. I was sooo happy at first 'cause I saw the diagram for the set up to produce ester and it came out. Hallelujah. I made one careless mistake though. Stupid. And I got another separate one wrong, so yeah. It was good on the whole.

Chemistry two

The first question was kinda hard. I was completely blur about alloys, but I managed to answer. The rest of section A was fine. Section B was a little hard, but I managed it fine. Section C was a bit of a headache. Choose between redox and salts. The two hardest chapters in the whole syllabus. I managed to do redox fine, so it was okay. I just hope the examiner can read my handwriting. I was really scribbling in section C. Plus I don't use correction tape, so there were a lot of cancels. Yeah.

Chemistry three.

This one wasn't bad. the first question was kinda long, but the second was short. Rate of reaction came out as we thought, but not the sodium thiosulphate experiment. It was okay though. Question 3 was super duper mega easy. Acids and bases. To investigate the relationship between concentration and pH value for acid. Sigh. Take the pH meter and dunk it in the acid. What's so hard? Since I had so much time on my hands, I drew a diagram and plotted a graph even though they don't ask for it. Even then, I finished half an hour early. It was a real test of our resolve, 'cause almost all of us vowed to leave only when the paper ends. I realised at the last minute that I had plotted the wrong shape for my graph though. Nevermind, there are no marks for graph.

And that's it.

End of [all] Question Paper[s]

As a tribute to the last day of school, I switched uniforms with Seng Fatt the day before. So, I wore a prefects uniform for the first and last time in my life.

It was always a dream of mine, to wear a prefects uniform, and now I've done it. Hurrah!

Unfortunately, Seng Fatt decided to go with his younger brother's uniform, so mine was returned home sad and dejected.

Turns out, Khid and Majid had the same idea. Khid wore Majid's blue uniform while Majid wore Khid's white one. Me and Khid were like, in his words, "the Rebel N*****s"

Yeah.

After Chem 3, we were all like, on cloud nine. A lot of crazy and stress relieving activities occurred.

One such activity (I wasn't a witness to this 'cause I went home before this happened, but I did hear about it) was certain students taking two fire extinguishers and spraying the hall and the basketball court. The said students are now being pursued by the heads of discipline.

*cough* In other news, there are plenty of plans being carried out tonight. Unfortunately, I am not involved in those plans. Mine is a quiet and meaningful celebration of the end of SPM.

Not a drinking party. Yeah, there are certain people going drinking tonight.

Not only did I survive SPM with (most of) my sanity intact, I also managed to completely clear out all my study stuff from my cupboards when I got home just now. There's like, 3 feet of old news paper that's gonna be dumped on some poor recycling plant tomorrow. Now I need to get rid of my books. Anyone want two years worth of stress, tears and headache written and bound?

Now I leave the school for good with my head held high.

Until next time,

A free dude.

Hey Birthday Girl.

2009-12-07T21:14:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday Annabel Hiew Mei Jun.

Fifteen huh?

Have an awesome one.

I hope you like my present.

No, I didn't go to too much trouble to get it.

Actually, well, I did.

But no worries.

Tell you about it tomorrow kay?

Anyways, tomorrow's my last day of school. Ever.

After 3.30, I leave the school never to return as a student.

Gosh, I love S.M.K.T.T.D.I.

I just never realised it.

School's done so much for me.

It's taught me so much, both during and outside classes.

I'm definitely gonna miss it.

And I'm definitely gonna miss the awesomely awesome people I've met in my 11 years of school.

As of tomorrow, I'm an EX-Form Five.

Man I feel old.

Until Next Time,

A thoroughly old dude.

Here we come!

2009-12-06T12:07:00.002+08:00

It's sooooo close.

I can almost stretch out my hand and grab it.

Argh. Almost. Almost.

Just two days.

Then it can all end.

But you know what's sad?

I can't celebrate.

Or barely.

I've got a lot of things to do.

I can't even join caroling

Ah well.

We all can't get what we want.

Day Eight.

2009-12-03T20:50:00.004+08:00

Physics one

So after 2 days rest (and mourning) it's back to Spm. Today's Physics. Yay Physics. Paper one was quite easy. Very little calculation for a Physics paper, but a lot on memorising, applications and definitions. The electricity, electromagnetism and electronic questions were a little shaky for me, but it was on the whole rather good. I know I have one confirm correct question, since Eshton helped me remember the arrangement of electromagnetic waves by frequency and one question on that order came out. Thanks man. Life saver.

Physics two

I was worried a little for this one, but it was good. Again, this paper continued the trend of little calculation and a lot of explanation. Some of the predictions came out, like thermal equilibrium, logic gates, electromagnetism and stuff. The thing I got most angry with myself is that I looked in my reference book and read electromagnetic relay and electric bell, but when I saw ammeter coil I thought, no need to read this. And it came out. :'( Anyway, it was good on the whole. The 10 mark essay about hydraulic brake system in cars really threw me off, but I managed to clear my head in the last half an hour of the test and make up some logical stuff.

Physics three

Again, I was kinda worried for this one. Okay fine, I'm kinda worried for everything. The first question was like ground pea nuts. A form one student can get full marks for that one. Mass and volume. Mega easy. Second question was waves. I knew it was gonna come out, 'cause both wave formulas didn't come out for both paper one and paper two. And it did for paper three. You didn't even need to know anything about waves to answer the question 'cause they gave all the formulas needed at the question itself. For the essay, I did the first one. Hooke's Law. I saw that and laughed. That experiment was in PEKA just in case you don't know. Thank you Physics PEKA. The other option was electromagnetism, which was targeted, but since that's my weakness, I didn't wanna even go near it. Now I know for sure what to study for Chemistry paper three. Just study what doesn't come out in paper one and two. It happened in both Bio and Physics. Came out half an hour early, and we were all like so relieved. Me and Acap were jumping and shouting, and singing with Burhan when he came out at 3.30.

Now, one last order of business. Then I'm done. One last subject. 11 years of studying is about to meet it's finale. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Come on. Five days. That's all.

YES WE CAN!!!!!!!!!

May Angels Lead You In

2009-12-01T18:19:00.006+08:00

Hear you me my friends.

Today was the funeral of Uncle Ben Lye. My confirmation class' co-teacher. A totally awesome dude.

He passed away suddenly on Saturday due to stroke and low blood pressure in University Hospital. He was 70. I knew he was in hospital, and myself along with mum, Inigo, Sherwin and Ryan went to visit him. Unfortunately, we were too late. He passed away just under 2 hours before we got there.

Uncle Ben was a good man. He fought the good fight to the end. A street fighter as a youth, he became reformed and worked for the betterment of everyone around him. He was a presiding elder and co-founder of the servants of Yahweh, an international Catholic organisation aimed at helping build families. He was a Communion Minister at my church. He helped his wife, Aunty Margaret to teach sunday school to the Confirmation class of 2009 for 3 years. He was a man of integrity, and truly cared about everyone he met.

Uncle Ben taught me a lot during the short time that he was my teacher. He taught me to always put myself last and others first. He taught me to try with the best of my ability to help everyone and anyone that I could. He taught me to give everything my all, and, in his own words "to take the bull by the balls."

I never got the chance to say thank you.

I guess that's how it is.

I hope you're in a better place now Uncle.

Hey Moon.

2009-12-01T00:15:00.005+08:00

Please forget to fall down.

She's looks pretty awesome tonight. Not quite full yet, but still awesome. She will be in 2 days.

I love the night. Don't you? It's just so, well, awesome. I know, I know, [insert racist joke here], but still. It's a confluence of peace and calmness. You really can think if you go out and just breathe, take a walk and take a look around. And everything looks so much better under the moonlight. The day may be for socialising and activity, but the night's for quiet reflection and aloneness. More or less.

Wow. It's December. Already. SPM's ending. Just two more subjects. Christmas and Advent is starting. Time for things to begin. And other things to end. Ah well. It's all cool. I'd better stop emo-ing about how time flies or nothing's ever gonna happen.

Man, I wanna totally change my blog soooo bad. There's so much that I can do. But I must exercise patience. Just 7 days. Then I can tear down these old walls and build new ones. Be prepared. Blogging paradigm shifts oncoming.

Until next time,

A moongazing dude.

Day Seven

2009-11-30T19:17:00.003+08:00

Biology two

Weird how they start bio 2 first right? Had 4.5 days to study, but well, like everyone else, study mode sorta collapsed. Too long a break. Bio 2 was easier than i expected, and I was worrying for nothing. The placenta and baby as well as inheritance and mangrove swamp came out as predicted. Did both essays, and it was okay. Oh, and Ryan arrived with a shirt that wasn't properly dried, so it was smelling really badly. Han Yang called me and I had to bring something to cover up the smell since Ryan sits right in front of me.

Biology one

So well all thought, circle circle only. No sweat. Well, it wasn't. Almost entirely. A couple of tricky ones, but on the whole quite easy. The mitosis picture was very blur, so I kinda stared at it for quite some time after I had finished just to make sure. Finished in 32 minutes, and stared at everyone and the mitosis picture. There was a lady on the divider of the road across from the bus stop just standing there eating something from a bag. That's what happens when the head invigilator switches the places of everyone in the hall 'cause half the hall aren't around (they don't take bio) and you get placed next to a window. Your powers of observation get a workout.

Biology three

We were kinda worried for this one, but it was okay. Apparently the first question was exactly the same as 2007's paper, so those who did pass-year papers were rejoicing. Second question was exactly the same as our trial, so yeah. A lot of questions throughout SPM were from our trial you know. So future SPM candidates, make sure you read your trial's marking scheme.

Anyways, 2 days break, and here comes the next paper. Got my mood to study back 'cause of bio.

Yes, we can!

Intermission

2009-11-26T20:49:00.002+08:00

You know how really long and really ancient movies have like, a break so that you can go get some popcorn and use the toilet and stuff? Really really boring ceramah's have these too. Know now? Yeah?

Well, it sorta feels like that now. No paper 'till Monday 'cause tomorrow's a public holiday.

So, I woke up at 7 this morning. Kinda early for a non-exam day right? I went for a jog up Bukit Kiara with my mom and a couple of her friends. They kinda have a strict 7.30 policy with these things, so I had to get up early. My little brother was supposed to come, but sleeping beauty was still, well, sleeping.

Went for a swim after that in the Kiara Park condos, 'cause one of the two of my mom's friends who went for the jog has a condo there, so we used to swim there all the time. Nowadays, rarely. So it was kinda good to get back on track of my exercise. I need to seriously bulk up for N.S. now that I know where I'm going.

Tried to have a nap, but somehow because of all my afternoon papers I've gotten into the bad habit of not sleeping in the afternoon, and therefore sleeping early at night. A couple of days of holiday should cure that.

Then washed my Myvi. It's been needing a good cleaning. Couldn't vacuum it though, due to my dad's big huge Citroen being parked inside. Now my car's all shiny on the outside, but still a bit dirty on the inside. Gotta do that tomorrow.

You know what? (Of course you do) It's a mega hot day today. Kinda strange, 'cause yesterday it was hot (though not as hot as today) and it rained. It's been raining lightly all of last week too. Now it's all hot and draining. It was okay in the day, 'cause it makes outdoor ventures possible, and makes for a very good nature scene. Did you see the sunset? Just awesome. But now that it's night, it's getting kinda unbearable. Truth be told, I'm kinda sitting here blogging without a shirt with my fan at full. That doesn't normally happen because the top of my dad's head get's kinda too cold for his own comfort when the fan's at full, and well, I like to keep my shirt on. Ah well.

Anyways, gotta get back to my SPM preparations. Then crash out on my bed. (Hey, I did do quite a bit of exercise and other stuff today okay...) Thanks for reading. Ciao.

Until next time,

An exhausted dude.

I haven't made a post like this in ages.

Should do more.

Day Six.

2009-11-25T17:21:00.002+08:00

Additional Mathematics one

Before we went in we were all like, okay, let's get to it. Add maths. We've gotta do this! Then the whole school went into the hall five minutes late. The teachers kinda let us go in a bit late So, we lost five minutes off our paper. Add maths some more. But it turns out we didn't really need it. It was quite easy. I answered all but one question out of 25, so it was quite good. Went out feeling, okay, if this is how it is then I've got nothing to worry about. I brought my car, so I along with Jern, Haris and Azzaim went to Dapurmas for a quick bite. Not bad, the food there. It was Haris' birthday too. Happy birthday man. Went home, and watched most of Shooter. Mega cool.

Additional Mathematics two

'cause of Add. Maths one, all of us were thinking, this is gonna be a piece of pie. No such thing. No such thing. *shakes head* It was, well, a bloody disaster. A catastrophe. A total nightmare. Okay, it wasn't sooooooooo bad. Section C was easy. And section B was do-able. The first 3 questions for Section A was fine. But in between. Die. Kiamat. Managed to do almost all. Well, cross my fingers and hope to get it correct. Barely finished on time. Got out and like everyone was like. S***. This ain't good. Now, I'm feeling really stressed 'cause of that mega headache paper. Need to wind down.

Oh, and I bought a new phone yesterday. RM120. Best deal I ever made. It has the most awesome application ever. A flashlight. Awesome right? You see, I needed a new phone. My old one had seen better days. There's much truth in the saying that you don't really know what you've got till it's gone.

Guess what. I got my National Service posting. Just today. In between Add maths papers. Apparently it's been out since last Thursday. I'm in the first batch. Starts on the second of January. Where am I going? Tawau baby. In Sabah. Oh yeah! *jumps and punches air*

Anyways, I've got about 4 days to wind down and curse silently about add math, then the pressure of exams resumes with the start of the science subjects.

Yes, we can!

I hope.

Day Five

2009-11-24T18:39:00.002+08:00

Pendidikan Moral (Moral Studies)

It was way easier than I thought, and way easier than the trial. Almost all the questions were asking for the meaning of the moral value, not just the explanation like we normally do. Surprisingly I managed to remember all my definitions for the moral values, baring protecting the right of consumers, 'cause I fumbled a little on that one and messed up the first two words. All the rest were KBKK questions, not textbook questions, so there was a lack of questions which ask which department does what and the laws made and stuff like that. It was quite good. Oh, and Pendidikan Agama (Religious education) paper one was half an hour shorter, so we moral students had to wait patiently while they all got out into the sunlight.

Bible Knowledge

Has only one paper, and is entirely subjective. Two books, Acts and Luke, and 8 structure questions (4 from Luke, 4 from Acts) and pick 4 out of 6 essay questions (3 from Luke, 3 from Acts) The paper started at 2, which was the same time as Agama 2 so a lot of people were like, "Dude, what on Earth are you doing here?" and "Dude did you convert or something?" So yeah. Unfortunately, their paper finished at 3.40. Mine finished at 4.30. So like a total fool I was sitting in the hall almost alone for the last half an hour 'cause Leonid bailed out after an hour plus. It was just me and Jawahir 'cause she's got extra time for every paper. Then she left, so after about 10 minutes I also decided to throw in the towel. I had after all finished everything, including 4 essays. I did 3 from Luke and 1 from Acts 'cause the acts other two were kinda hard. On the whole, it was good.

Okay, so with the end of moral I have no more Malay papers. Now comes the pinch. Time to get to it.

Yes, we can!

Day Four.

2009-11-23T15:53:00.002+08:00

Modern Mathematics one.

Wasn't bad, but I made several careless mistakes. Yeah careless mistakes can still happen. So never ever underestimate maths.

Modern Mathematics two.

Was awesome. I did everything. I even did all 5 questions in section B when they only want you to do 4. Kudos to Heng for teaching me Earth as a Sphere at the library yesterday.

Yeah I went to the library to study yesterday. Brought my car, and went with Seng Fatt, Eshton, Heng, Ivor, Ryan and Sherwin. We, (without Heng, he had already eaten) went for lunch at DU. 6 people in a Myvi. Yeah my Myvi is constantly put to the test in terms of it's capacity. Oh, and Ryan was shoved in the boot due to lack of space. He was screaming in the boot "Murtad!" and "Waaa kena Colekkkk!!" Then we (without Ivor and Heng) sent Sherwin home and then went to Starbucks to study. The library closes at 4.45 on weekends you see.

Now, I'm almost halfway done. Of Spm. Just another 6 subjects to go. And another 15 days to go. So bring it!

Yes we can!

Day Three

2009-11-20T12:08:00.002+08:00

English for Science and Technology one.

2 structure questions. 1 essay. 1 hour 15 minutes. Wasn't too bad. I noticed that the first question was chemistry related. The second was bio. The essay was physics.

English for Science and Technology two.

30 objective questions. One hour. Not a problem. I'm only unsure of two questions. The rest nope. I was one of the few who actually waited patiently for the paper to finish. Yeah. Finished it in like 20 minutes.

Now, two and a half days break, and the next set of papers await me. Bring it.

Yes we can!

Day Two.

2009-11-19T17:59:00.002+08:00

English one.

Not bad. Thankfully Pn. Masliza told us last minute the format to write a report. That was section A. In Section B, the same thing came out as in the Trial. Beauty. The minute I saw that, I touched nothing else.

English two.

Quite easy. Finished in about an hour. Got out 45 minutes before the end to study sejarah.

Sejarah two.

The dreaded paper. The bane of all. Wasn't too bad. Surprisingly. I love KBKK questions. I answered all three essays with KBKK in them. Made up stuff as I went along, but it was very okay.

Thank you to all my teachers who taught me these subjects. I can now put them aside with relief.

Okay now bring the next paper. I'm gonna tear it apart like the cellulose that it is.

Yes we can!

Day One

2009-11-18T18:58:00.003+08:00

Numero Uno.

This is it.

This is the moment.

It starts now.

Bm 1, then Sejarah 1, then Bm 2

Bm 1 was awesome. In the words of currently my favourite Bm teacher that ever lived, "Way too easy." I can't say what came out, but it was gooooood. I put loads of peribahasa and some interesting phrases in them too. Courtesy or 2 years of Mr. Yu's teaching.

Sejarah 1 was harder. What I didn't study properly came out. But it was okay I guess.

Bm 2 was sheer bliss. True, the only literature question that was spotted and came out was "anak laut". And none of the spotted novel questions came out. But what did was totally do-able. The one that worried me was the grammar question, not the summary, literature or the novel questions. But it was the awesome-est one of the lot. Especially my former weakness, peribahasa.

Thank you Mr. Yu for all the grammar exercises in class. Especially the peribahasa practice. You're officially the best ever.

Thanks to you, I answered every single question and sub-question. I've never done that before.

And my peribahasa are all right. Thank you!!!!

And that's it. My last Bm paper I'll ever do. Time to burn my books!!!

And with that, 3 papers down, 19 to go.

Can we?

Yes, we can!

SPM.

2009-11-17T17:53:00.001+08:00

Tomorrow.

And tomorrow.

In the immortal words of President Barrack Obama,

"Yes, we can!"

Best of luck everybody.

I'm back.

2009-11-15T15:30:00.001+08:00

But I have no mood to blog about it.

At all.

Funny how that happens huh?

Ten ten ten ten.

2009-11-08T12:42:00.001+08:00

10 days to SPM.

10 hours to Perth.

10 minutes to lunch.

10 seconds to finish.

Tempus Fugit.

2009-11-07T20:28:00.002+08:00

Say what?

It's Latin. Yeah, the language of scholars, intellectuals and really really really old people.

It means "Time flies"

It does doesn't it?

I've been alive for nearly 18 years now.

I've been in school for almost 11 years now.

I've kept this blog up for 5 months now.

Surprising isn't it, the way time sorta creeps up and jumps at you.

Excruciating, if you ask me.

Especially this year.

Time's been a total killjoy.

Time really needs to move slower.

There cannot be 11 more days until SPM.

There cannot be 31 more days until my school is over.

There cannot be 57++ days until I leave the country for good.

But there is.

Oh man.

Oh, and in case you forgot, I'm leaving to Australia tomorrow night.

Wish me Luck.

13 Days. 291 hours

2009-11-05T20:17:00.002+08:00

Panic mode officially activated.

There is no way I can cram History into my head.

That, and my phone's not working properly.

:'(

Leaving to Perth in 4 days and I haven't packed a thing.

Life seriously needs to improve.

It's November Guys

2009-11-03T20:06:00.003+08:00

Man does time fly.

At least now I'm super seriously studying.

And I've got my appetite back.

Yup, 15 days to SPM.

Scared? You have no idea.

But oh well. I've got no time to worry. After all, time is money right?

Anyways, I'm going to Perth next week. Down under baby!

My flight's Sunday. Be back the following Monday.

I know what you're thinking. "Are you insane?!?!?! A week before SPM?!?!?!"

Well, maybe I am.

It's kinda a long story, and if you haven't realised it yet, time is the one thing I don't have.

That, and a pair of pants for school tomorrow.

Until Next Time.

13

2009-10-31T23:51:00.001+08:00

For want of 13 posts.

And lack of enough time and things to talk about.

Once again,

Happy Halloween.

It may very well be your last.

Muahahaha

Oh, and I almost forgot.

2009-10-31T23:37:00.003+08:00

Happy Halloween.

Time flies doesn't it?

Well, enjoy both your trick and your treat.

Oh, and if you don't completely understand my previous post, it's okay.

Read between the lines.

(;

Until Next Time.

I'm Getting Too Old For This.

2009-10-31T23:22:00.002+08:00

Yeah, I am.

Today's All Saint's Day.

Which means,.... Incense.

The most fun form of altar serving there is.

So normally, it would like be a high like no other.

Normally.

Today was... different.

I was almost late, and very stressed at the beginning of mass.

I was running practically on the edge of disaster.

That's what happens when you've got a bunch of unindependant juniors to work with.

Then as mass went on it just, well, lost it's old awesomeness.

It's not super mega exciting anymore.

It was positively uninteresting.

Incense was my one final tie to me and my past.

Now, like all else, the magic of it seems to have vanished.

Lost in the ever flowing ebb of time.

Maybe they were right.

I should have done what the others did.

I should have left it in the hands of those who still feel that magic,

I should have progressed, not clung to the fragile fragments of the past.

Well, the good news is that I'm pretty much done.

Time to try new things.

Until Next Time.

A cup of hot chocolate, a packet of Oreos and a runny nose

2009-10-29T22:27:00.005+08:00

With that, I shall Blog.

Yes, I have a runny nose. Just before Spm. Great, right? All because of yesterday.

Hey, it was a boring day. Almost all my teachers were not around. Except for Mr. Yu of course. He's one dedicated guy. Makes it worth coming to school for his classes.

So most of the students of 5 Beta weren't around either.

Total amount present : 10

Then by one, it starts raining. Then pouring. Then super, mega, thunder-storming.

So yeah. I got wet. More than wet actually. Soaked through more like.

But I didn't feel it's effects then.

Later went for tuition. Sejarah at Mastermind. My last sejarah class. Ever. My Sejarah teacher's awesome. My tuiton group's pretty rad too. Thanks guys for making history all the more absorbable.

Today was much better than yesterday. I didn't actually go to school. Went to the Library with Fatt. It was mostly overrun with Chinese from the BU schools and also DU and DJ. Acap and Dan were there. That's it from Alfa and Beta. Sapawi came later, but that's about it. Studied 2 and a half hours of Sejarah (again) then went down to the cafe with Fatt and Acap 'cos we were hungry. Awesome image of 1Malaysia. A Malay, a Chinese and an Indian sitting together, all three eating two plates of nasi lemak. We should be the next Petronas ad.

Anyway, at around 12.40 went to school because we thought that our Add Maths teacher would actually be dedicated enough to come into class and teach. Apparently not. Well, I'm not surprised.

Total amount present : 6

That including Tunku Nurul Farhan. I feel bad, Because I kinda asked her to come to school to get her forecast and certs on Monday. But she wasted her time coming today instead. I'm sorry Nurul.

Had Bible Knowledge class later. Once again, my last class ever. Ate home-made (awesome) lamb burgers before, which made my breath smell on onions. They taste so good, yet make you smell so bad. Weird isn't it? Walked there and back since I'm too lazy to drive. Got back, made a hot chocolate, grabbed some oreos and a roll of tissue and sat down at my computer to post this on my blog.

And with that, my hot chocolate's finished, my oreos are packed away, and my runny nose has abated. For now.

Until Next Time.

Blackjack.

2009-10-26T22:08:00.005+08:00

Only 21 days.

Yup, Spm's getting nearer.

Time to up the serious-o-meter.

Yeah, I'm kinda in a poetic mood right now.

Really random kind of poems.

They just come out of my head somehow.

Don't ask me.

That poem yesterday was a result of walking around after the rain.

Hey, I need the exercise right?

A healthy body makes a healthy mind.

Went jogging today, and now I'm actually feeling loads better.

I didn't realise that I wasn't feeling too great.

Ah well, no need to wonder about that which has happened.

Look forwards, not back.

Until next time.

Do you believe in magic?

2009-10-25T19:08:00.003+08:00

There's something magical about the way the neighbourhood looks when it's just rained.

There's a glow off the pavement as the clouds break in the sky.

There's triumph in the face of the orange sun as she is victorious over her cloudy bonds.

There's joy in the face if earthbound creatures over the blessings bestowed upon them from heaven.

The trees look greener.

The air smells fresher.

The birds fly more freely.

The people behave nicer.

The buildings seem cleaner.

The cars appear shinier.

Everything's much better.

The sun sets in the horizon, covering all with a rosy hue.

Do you believe in magic now?

A Drippy, Droppy, Non-Stoppy Friday

2009-10-23T22:11:00.003+08:00

Hi.

Yeah.

It's finally stopped raining.

Weird isn't it?

Just on Monday I was talking about awesome weather.

Well, this is awesome weather too.

In a way.

Hey, think of all the people in other countries who don't have rain.

This is paradise for them right? Right?

But yeah, I like this kind of rain. The really nostalgic sorta rain that gives this cool vibe that makes you think of the past. And the toe-biting cold is nice, in a way. It's just about as close as we in Malaysia'll get to winter-cold, so enjoy it people.

The air's unbelievably still. And cold. Oh, and did I mention cold?

I feel like going for a walk. Maybe in a short while. Maybe not.

Anyway, today was really sorta one of those kinda days you'll forget within a week.

I didn't go to school, because there was some super raya-deepavali makan feast going on after recess which you pay one buck for all you can eat. Not my idea of a well-spent school day. So, stayed at home and did add maths. Nothing new.

Oh and since were on the food topic, you know what, lately I still haven't been eating properly. Not the annorexia nervosa kind of not eating properly, but the hmmm I don't feel like eating much any more. I even gave up part of my spaghetti last night 'cos I couldn't eat it. Unbelieveable, I know. I used to love spaghetti. I always looked forward to Thursdays 'cos Thursdays were spaghetti days. No more, I guess.

Actually, I think I said this before, whoops, so sorry. But, it continues to today.

Okay, so on Fridays I have Add Maths tuiton at Mastermind in Uptown. So today I thought, why don't I visit Mannan in DSH since it's so near by. I practically park within 400 meters of the place you know. So I told Seng Fatt (we go to the same tuiton; I drive him there every week) and then we sorta made a plan. Asked loads of people, but only Aishah Zein and Waa wanted to come. Then suddenly they cancelled due to tuiton. I think maybe it's a replacement that they forgot about, but they didn't explain, so I can only assume. Luckily, we found out before we left tuiton that he was released from hospital the day before, so our plan failed.

Cool term to use right, released, kinda makes it sound like he was in prison or something. I'm only joking Mannan. I hope you get well soon man.

Oh, and my parents just went out for dinner with some of their church friends, leaving me with my little brother. As usual. Sigh. Had maggi for dinner, but my mom cooked up some omelette and yau mak to go with it. As usual, my brother starts talking about all his computer games and tv shows and stuff like he always does, expecting me to listen. No matter how many times I tell him that I'm not listening.

My little brother has always had the assumption that I'm the same age as him, so everything that interests him automatically interests me. Well, that was last time. I have grown.

So today, I decide that I might as well listen to him, since he's gonna talk no end. Turns out that some of the stuff he says is quite funny really. He may not know exactly how to tell a story, hence making you completely lost, but he's not bad.

And that's about it. Darn, my parents just came back. Time to resume the pretext of doing work.

Nothing else to talk about. Tomorrow should be an interesting day, so I'll blog about it if I can.

Until next time,

A cold dude.

Random Poethics

2009-10-20T21:39:00.004+08:00

Roses are red.

Violets are blue.

I feel really bored.

Care for something new?

Roses are red.

Violets are blue.

Does this sound cliché?

Well, so do you.

Roses are red.

Violets are blue.

Do I look like a cow?

Well, I don't go moo.

Roses are red.

Violets are blue.

You may think I'm crazy.

You may also be true.

Roses are red.

Violets are blue.

I wonder what you think now,

Care to give me a clue?

Roses are red.

Violets are blue.

I know, I know,

This is certainly not what you're due.

Roses are red.

Violets are blue.

I think I'm running out of u words.

I think that's my cue.

Roses are red.

Violets are blue.

If I wasted your time,

Then I'm sorry, too.

Elevated Spontaneousity

2009-10-20T21:14:00.005+08:00

Ola.

Yeah.

Soon isn't it?

I've got stuff to talk 'bout.

Firstly, You may have noticed the spate of new upgrades and elevations to my blog. Yeah, I'm a progressive person. Keep moving forward huh? So yeah. This should make it a little more interesting shouldn't it?

School was normal. Gerak gempur. Can't complain. I actually went for E.S.T. (but only after thinking twice) Walked around school a lot today 'cos I had to see Pn. Shanthy multiple times. Other than that, got my exercise for the day by walking people home.

So in all, a good day.

Well, I feel really spontaneous giddy right now. Dunno I just do. You know the kind of giddiness you get when scoring a 95 or getting an awesome idea for a project or something. Now I've got overflowing ideas. Gotta write it down. Hmmm, I feel poetic. Yeah. I'll write a poem.

My old English teacher was right, I am a mood writer. I don't like being forced to sit down and write some boring essay or another. That totally puts me out.

No. I need space to breathe and to get the mood.

Then awesome stuff can come out.

Okay, so be warned. A (probably random) poem's coming your way.

Soon.

Serenity

2009-10-19T12:09:00.006+08:00

What a beautiful day.

The sun's shining,

The birds are singing,

my dad's shouting (Get down to Add Maths, Ashanth!),

my mum's class kids are jumping around,

and my lil bro's mad at his BM homework.

Ah, utter blissfulness.

I love the sight of transverse waves of solar light energy reflected off dark brown roof tiles.

I love the smell of fresh midday air infused with petroleum products.

I love the sound of my fan steadily and consistently whirring as it blots out all other (annoying) sounds.

I love the small inch of green chlorophyll-filled leaves from my mango tree that's visible from my bedroom window as it photosynthesizes, bright against the cold stone background of my neighbour's wall.

I love the miles and miles of clear blue empty sky, with not a water-vapour filled cloud to dampen it, which you can stare and stare and stare and stare into but still not see the end.

I feel totally segregated from the rest of the world.

Totally alone.

Totally at peace.

Finally.

I wonder if there's any juice in the fridge.

Well Cooked.

2009-10-18T22:50:00.005+08:00

Hey.

Kinda sudden after my post on Friday, I know.

I just figured that since I have the time I might as well keep you updated on my life so far.

Well, firstly, as you may have noticed, I changed my blog layout and some of the fonts in my blog. As you may notice too, I'm sticking to my trademark namesake green, although now there's a lot of grey, so it's minimal green. I like it. I may change it again soon so be warned.

Anyways, among other things, I have succeeded in once again angering my dad with my poor add maths results. Now he's all "I'm gonna whip you into add maths shape!" Well, he said that on saturday, and he hasn't started yet, so hopefully it won't happen. Hopefully. Sometimes it can be very fruitless arguing with him, which is why getting help from him isn't the best of ideas.

Other than that, I just came back from a barbeque at one of my church neighbour's place. He's a good friend of my parents, and he regularly has these sorta stuff 'cos he's got a good babeque pit.

I, being a guy, stuffed myself with 4 pieces of grilled lamb, 3 grilled prawns, 2 pieces of grilled beef, and countless burnt marshmallows. It was good. I've always loved good meat, and it was a treat 'cos I got to cook it myself, so I had fun with the fire and the charcoal too. Haha Burn, baby, burn!

Yeah that's about it. Nothing more. Boring life isn't it? Anyway, the perils of add maths and of course sleep await. Thanks for reading.

Oh. In case you were wondering, the title's well cooked 'cos well, my dinner was well cooked, and also I'm well cooked cos of my add maths. I really need to grasp it properly. I still can't. Oh well.

Hey you know what, I'm hungry again. Time to raid the fridge.

Until next time,

A cooked dude.

Disturbing murruku.

2009-10-16T22:45:00.007+08:00

Hi.

Yo wassup homie? How are you? Doing awesome? I hope so.

You know what?

PMR's over. Happy partying.

Damn. I envy the Form 3's. I wish SPM would like end tomorrow or something. That would totally rock. But it's not gonna happen. Oh well.

Anyways, it's Deepavali. The festival of lights. Malaysia's got loads of holidays since we've got loads of different people. So yeah, no school till Tuesday. Yup, nothing says to hell with you SPM better than a good bowl of murruku. Hmmmm I wonder if Kavee's gonna give me murruku again this year. She's done so every year since we've been neighbours.

Well, to all who celebrate Deepavali (both Hindus and just enjoying the food people),

Happy Deepavali.

Yeah actually I don't celebrate it in case you were wondering. I don't know if you haven't noticed, but I'm Catholic. I may have mentioned that both directly and indirectly perhaps a couple of hundred times already.

I watched Disturbia today. You know that movie with a dude stuck in his house under house arrest and starts spying on his neighbours named Shia LeBeouf, a hot girl named Sarah Roemer, a slightly weird asian dude named Aaron Woo, and a weird guy who tries to kill people named David Morse.

Yeah. That pretty much summerises the movie. And don't get me wrong, I don't mean Sarah Roemer's hot in the perverted kinda way. No, I mean she's hot as in she looks good and she did well in the movie.

Well, I watched it. Finally. I know. I didn't watch it when it came out. It was a good break from my revision and preparation.

You know what? Okay I'm gonna tell you something. Don't freak out or anything, but........

I think I"m losing my sanity.

I think it's cos of the exam stress.

Plus with lack of exercise.

So basically.

Exam stress + no exercise = brain damage.

Seriously,

I'm not feeling too normal.

Far from normal actually.

Hmmm makes sense that I enjoyed watching Disturbia.

I'm disturbed. Get it?

See, told you I'm insane.

I'm just waiting for everything to end.

So that my sanity can return.

And with that, clarity, I hope.

Until next time,

An exam addled dude.

Graduation

2009-10-07T20:40:00.008+08:00

Hi. I'm back, I know. I promised to blog about a long time ago. Unfortunately, the demands of SPM came before completing my blog. Many apologies. Well, on a brighter note, this time I have what all my other posts lack. Pictures. Now my blog's a proper blog. Yay!

Okay so I'm gonna blog about the most important topic since the holidays. I'm not gonna backtrack and talk about that, but I will mention that it was filled with books and studying. I'm gonna blog about..... (wait for it).......... Graduation Night. Or rather "Majlis Makan Malam Hari Graduasi" A mouthful of malay words, I know. Basically, held on Friday the 2nd of October at the Community Hall in TTDI (where the Golden Nite was held) from 7.30 till 12, Graduation Night in SMK Taman Tun is a formal dinner event where the Form 5's and Upper 6ers get their Leaving Certificates and Testimonials, as well as recognition for their efforts in the upkeeping of the school, whether in cocurricular activities, competitions, leadership, discipline ore attitude. It's also completely organised by form 5 students (guided by teachers of course) and it's the last thing the form 5's (and upper 6ers) get to do in school.

That's me on the left getting my certs.

So yeah, I'm a graduate. Man does time fly. Form one feels like half a year ago.

The main guests of honor (There were a few) were the SUHAKAM president, Tan Sri Datuk Doctor Asiah ; the Ketua Pengarah Pelajaran Malaysia (That's him giving me the certs) (oh and I forgot his name); tha YDP PIBG (as usual, he's always around at all these events) and the principal, Datin Hajah Hasmah Binti Abu. Two out of three Vice Principals were there, with the exception of the V.P for Student Affairs, Ustazah Nor Lida bt. Semun as well as all the form 5 and upper 6 teachers and most of the graduating students. This year was the first time to be held in Taman Tun, and it was a huge thing. Everybody was striving for excellance (as usual). My counterpart in Alfa, Azzim Emir Imran was sorta the organiser for the event. He did a lot of work for this. Well, Azzim's been class monitor since standard one, so he's well qualified for this. He, along with the rest of the AJK's did an awesome job. The Graduation went super smoothly.

So you may be wondering what I did at and for Graduation. Well, other than get certs and fool around, I was part of the performance. The only performance. The said performance being a bunch of emo songs. Honestly, I seem capable of launching myself into every one of these kind of stuff.

That's us practicing in the Bilik Bestari

We started practising on Tuesday, and the songs chosen were the FRIENDS theme song (I'll be there for you), With me by Sum 41 and Graduation Song by Vitamin C (We will still be friends for ever....). Well, what was supposed to happen was N.O.T.A. (Form 5 band) was supposed to perform those songs. However, orders came from higher up that they wanted more of a choir thing. So in the end, Khid and Yan Koh ended up playing electric guitar while we sang. We being me, Seng Fatt, Burhan, Acap, Sharvind G, Daniel Affendi, Muhd Noor Danial, Heng, Chong, Firdaus, Ivor, Ryan, Haniesha, Emielee, Deb and Eleena. After a while, Emeilee became conductress and sorta prevented us from wasting our time there. In 4 days, we managed to make an acceptable performance.

Unfortunately, here comes the bad part. Suddenly, orders came from above that we needed to sing a malay song in order to prevent 'problems'. Those orders came 9 hours before we were supposed to perform. Panic and chaos reigned immedeately. How do we suddenly sing a new malay song when it took 4 days to get the other 3 okay? To escape the said panic, Burhan, Seng Fatt and myself agreed to sing Mungkin Nanti by Peterpan solo just to get them out of the mess. But we had like 30 minutes to practise. Then we went back to school for pictures in the Robe (the one I'm wearing in the first pic).At 5.15 after tuiton me and Fatt went to school first and helped to take some of the Gamelan stuff in my car to the hall. You don't expect Carlos to carry 20kg instruments single handedly across 800 meters do you? Took a while to load everything into a Myvi, a Saga (Ckg. Abid's car) and a Pickup truck (Pn. Nurhana's), so we only reached at about 5.45 6. We had just 15 minutes to practise mungkin nanti before Emeilee wanted to practice the other 3. Way not enough time. Then came the dinner. We were practically singing throughout to compenstate for the lack of practise.

But it wasn't enough. All 3 of us messed up. First, Seng Fatt messed up the 3rd and 4th line (he was singing the first line). I tried to help him (my part is similar) but I messed up too. Then Burhan came in with the chorus. But he forgot the lyrics for a couple of words. Then it's my part. Unfortunately, I (as well as the other two) could barely here the guitars. So I was looking at Koh to see when I come in. Burhan thought I was looking at him. He came in with the chorus. So we just got everyone to sing the chorus. The crowd was sporting, so it was okay. But you know when you've done enough performances like this, you have a certain standard for yourself. When you fall far from that standard, you get very upset with yourself. Meanwhile, the other 3 songs went fine. But that won't make up for our mistake. You know people rarely ever talk about a performance that nothing went wrong (unless it was super awesome). They always talk about stuff that went wrong. It's how life is.

Anyway,that pic there's during our solo. Fatt's on the left, Burhan center, I'm right.

That's about it. I went back at 1 after putting the gamelan stuff back into school and sending Fatt and the Ketua Pengawas Ruiz back. The only ones to help with the gamelan were me, Fatt, Ruiz, Flap, Syak and Khid (Flap drove the other two. He's got a perdana. Do you know how much power a perdana has? It's a V6!)

Over all, it was a good night just to enjoy your last moments in school with your friends.

A night to remember, not for the bad but for the good.

Cos' you'll never get the chance again.

Until next time,

An unexpectant graduate

A Lame Knock Knock Joke and Other Stuff.

2009-09-19T12:55:00.005+08:00

Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Me.

Me who?

Mee hun? Shhh, your making me hungry.

Hi. Yeah I'm back. Even though I said I probably wouldn't be. Well, the key word there is probably. I kinda figured making a lame knock knock joke as my enterance this time would

a) Make you laugh

and

b) Make you forget about my negativity in my last post.

I wanna apologise for that. I was totally uncalled for. You didn't do anything. I'm sorry. I guess I was just, I dunno angry? At myself. For not studying enough? Something like that.

I know what you're gonna ask next. How was trials. It was Hell!!!

Super hard. Everything. Luckily, we had leaks and tips. But still, it was hard. I can get minimum B4 for everything except add maths. That one epic fail. But I'm thankful that it's over. I lost loads of sleep. Which is why I didn't blog on Wednesday itself, the day I finished my trials. Or Thursday. Or Friday. I was sleeping. Well, I'm done sleeping now.

You know what, I had a SK1 reunion party on Thursday night. Met a bunch of old primary school mates. Unfortunately, it was a barbeque, and it was raining heavily that night. Not a good combination. They had it in Damansara Perdana and it took us (me, Seng Fatt and Sherwin) a while to find the pool. As usual, I had to drive there. The rain kinda ruined it slightly, so after a while we bailed to Curve. We being me, Seng Fatt, Sherwin, Eric, Eshton, Justin Gan, Zen Chi and Weng Hau. Yup, Eight people in a Myvi. Seng Fatt drove. The car could barely move. Plus there were loads of bumps on the way. The people at the back were well, not very comfortable. Ate at TGIs then went home. I drove home, but nearly scratched my car again when my dad called to ask where I was. I sorta zoned out when he called, and didn't see the turning. Don't worry though, I'm not a bad driver. I'm just sorta in shock after the scratch last saturday. Ouh, I didn't tell you bout it did I.

Well, last saturday was my BK trials. Had to go to SM Stella Maris again. Actually, I didn't study for it. I forgot about it until Thursday. Was busy studying for Sej on Thurs, so didn't open book. Friday I went for that LSS mass thingy, which lasted until about 11. Super long. Father's sermon was like an hour. (If you don't really understand then sorry. It's a Church thing) So yeah didn't study. Thr test was hard. Again, I didn't study. Actuallly, Uncle Robert went over the stuff. But I couldnt really remember it. Tried my best though. Well, after that, went for fishball at the same place as before. After that, went back to my car and saw one big scratch and dent on my Myvi. I nearly died when I saw it. Major heartbreak. Afterwards me and Inigo managed to push the dent out. But the scratch remained. The paint was peeling and everything.

Anyway, I'll continue another time. Gotta go buy lunch.

Until next time,

Some lame dude.

Show's Over. The Exit's On Your Left. Thanks.

2009-09-05T22:14:00.000+08:00

Hey.

How's it doing?

Still reading my blog?

Thanks.

Anyways, this'll be a short post.

I've gotta get back to work soon.

I just wanna thank anyone and everyone who's been reading my blog. Very, very, very few, I know. Well, I don't like to advertise my blog to the world. But guys, show's over. No more. I'm not gonna blog for a while. It's been fun.

You see, I've gotta study harder and longer now. SPM approaches. I'll try and blog when I can, But that'll probably be extremely limited. So I wanna say thanks and bye in case I don't get to blog.

I should probably explain before I go why my blog is called greatgreengentleman. Do you guys listen to Panic At The Disco? Well, one of their songs in their new album, Pretty. Odd. (I have the whole album) is called 'That Green Gentleman'. That song is basically about how things has changed. So as you may have realised by now, I wanted to show how things have changed for me in this blog.

Yeah. That's about it. Thanks for reading.

Until Next Time (Hopefully),

The Green Gentleman.

Return of the Stressed SPM Blogger!!!

2009-09-01T19:13:00.001+08:00

That's right.

I'm Baaaack.

I have returned to reign destruction upon the unsuspecting world.

Muahahaha!!!

Hi.

Don't mind him.

(He's a little insane)

How was your holidays?

Good?

I hope so.

Don't ask me 'bout mine, 'cause I'm about to tell you.

Pretty normal actually. Study. Sleep. Tuiton. Eat. Sleep. Study. Boring routine. Till of course, Thursday. Got up ( around 10-ish, pretty normal holiday time), went OU, watched G.I. Joe, got my phone fixed. It's fixed now. Woot! I can SMS again. I wasn't working from last Thursday, you see. Annoying stuff. Friday Add Maths tuiton cancelled. Sleep! Saturday drove all the way to Stella Maris. It's near Pudu Jail there. You see, I had a Bible Knowledge seminar there. Being the only one who can drive, it's my job to ferry all those other bible scholars over there. Them being Sherwin, Inigo and Marianne. Leo and Stephen are lost as usual (inside joke). Okay I feel bad. You don't know the inside joke. You see, in the Gospel of Luke, there's a parable (a story with a moral) about a Lost Sheep, a Lost Coin and a Lost Son. They all mean sinners. The Lost Sheep just strayed a little from the fold without meaning to. The Lost Coin doesn't know that he's lost. The Lost Son purposely sins and gets lost. As you may have guessed, Stephen is the Sheep, Leo is the Coin and Inigo is the Son. Pretty self-explainatory actually. Yeah. Back to the seminar. Drove there, got Mcd on the way (Me & Sherwin's breakfast), was slightly late thanks to Inigo. (BU6 is a worse maze than BU2) The seminar was pretty boring actually. First speaker okay. After that, break. Ate my McD 'cos I couldn't eat in the car. (I was driving remember) Second speaker Uncle Robert (How to be boring, we're his model pupils) After that, lunch. Didn't eat there (there was a long line) but we went to eat fishball near Tungshin Hospital there. Courtesy of U. Robert. Sherwin brought Fiona along. I'm not gonna say anything about her, exept that she's nice. If you wanna know more, ask Sherwin. Third very boring. We pissed her off by answering all her questions (Uncle Robert went over the same ones loads of times) then she made us shut up. Slept after that. We left before the fourth. Dropped everyone off, let Inigo take the car for a little spin, then went to mass, nothing special after that. Sunday was awesome. Drove Sapawi, Eshton, Mei Yin and Eric to Pasar Malam. After dinner went to Eric's house and picked up Eric, Eshton and Sap. Let them drive, then we tried seriously playing round with the car. Like sharp corners at 100km/h. Insane stuff. Eric was nervous, but later became quite good. Eshton is dangerous. He loves to turn really tight. I won't be surprised if he loses his left wing mirror within a week. Sapawi's careful. But quite good too. Then me, Eric and Eshton went to Curve to see fireworks. But there were no fireworks to see. Came back kinda mad, but the driving made up for it. Monday was boring. Went with Seng Fatt for breakfast at McD (again). Then we went to OU MPH to study a bit of BM. Lunch was awesome chicken briyani. Dinner pizza. I cooked (Mom and Dad went out for dinner).

Which brings us to the end of the holidays. School's started again, and so has my SPM trials. Wish me luck. And wake me up when September ends. Or rather, SPM.

Until next time,

A dude off holiday.

P.S, My apologies once again for then length, and also for putting two posts last time. (The first one was just the title) Hey, accidents happen. Well, adious

Not So Happy Holidays

2009-08-23T14:41:00.001+08:00

Hi.

I'm back.

Sorry that it's been a while.

I've been super busy.

Oh erm, Happy holidays.

Have fun all you no exam after holidays people.

I've gotta study.

Anyway, one important question before I start.

How are you?

Better than me I guess.

Why?

Well, my life's not too great right now. I feel like an alternating-current generator.

Physics-y I know. But that's the best way to describe me here and now. It's like my mood keeps fluctuating. Positive then negative then positive back again. Like on Sunday, my mood was super positive. If I had wings, I would have flown to the moon and back. Without a tv break. Then on tuesday, my mood went rock bottom again. Now it's back positive again. But not for long I think. Maybe it's all the stress. Okay fine, it is all the stress. Yeah. Why? I have the most important exam of my life so far next week. A.k.a. SPM trials. If I mess up, I'm finished. Done for. So why wouldn't I be stressed. I've never been a good stress manager. I just mostly push it aside for a later date. Right now, I have no later date. Life's catching up to me. After SPM, it's like a blind corner. National Service, going to Australia, college, work. Yeah it's an adventure. And I like adventures. But It's just too soon. I never realised how much I'm gonna miss what I have now. But I gotta keep moving. A rolling stone gather's no moss right?

Anyway, I've got this whole holiday week to muse bout that while I catch up on my work. I've got 2 years worth of complacency and downright lazyness to undo. Gotta get to it. Anyway, don't let my negativity get to you. Have fun, enjoy and do stuff.

Happy holidays to you all.

Until next time,

A dude on holiday.

Sick. Bettter. But not best.

2009-08-12T11:39:00.000+08:00

Hi.

Greetings from a sick man.

Yeah. I haven't gone to school since monday and if you remember, my mom bailed me out before 4th period.

But I'm getting better now.

Why am I blogging? Even I don't know. I guess I just want something to do.

I've been stuck in this house for 3 days. If it doesn't get sick of me, then I'll get sick of it.

Well, hmmm. Maybe I should give you a couple of quotes I've heard.

The first is from a good friend I messaged on Sunday. In her (yes it's a her) last message she sorta gave me more inspiration to study. This is what she said. "Have fun studying and most importantly study not for the sake of it but for the love of knowledge." Yeah. Wow. I guess I've forgotten all about that. All this time for the past two years it's been SPM, SPM, future, SPM, future, SPM. I was too caught up with that. Never stopped to think bout this. Thanks I guess.

The second is something I developed by myself. All started with 3 words that I saw written in sequence. Experience. Journey. Adventure. So I came up with this. "Do not ask how long until we get there, for it is the journey and not the destination that holds all the experience and all the adventure." Yeah. Sorry if it sounds too familiar. I didn't plaguarise. At least not consciously. My apologies if I did. Well, I'm so gonna write that on my class whiteboard tomorrow if I'm well enough to go to school. I should be.

Well, I've gotta go.

My mom wants to have lunch with a family member from India. This dude's a priest. Visiting. Even I don't know the number of relatives I have. Well now I know one more.

Adious. Thanks for reading.

Until next time,

A Dude Who's Been Better.

A Debt Paid In Full.

2009-08-10T11:30:00.000+08:00

Hey.

I return to blog once more.

I know what you're thinking

"It's not even 12 yet. Shouldn't he be in school?

Well, I'm not well. Flu. Since yesterday. I did go to school (slightly late), but I got my mom to bail me out. I don't wanna infect everyone. They've got exams to sit for. Not to mention life to live.

Anyway,

I guess I should apologise for saturday

I was really stressed.

Not absolution, I know, but at least justification.

Alrighty then.

First order of bussiness

I owe you last week's report.

I'll try and keep it short.

Let's start with last, last thursday. If you remember, I had a Physics quiz that I didn't wanna go for. Well, sat for it, got through it. It was hard! Loads of tough questions. All objective, but five options, not four. Got through it all the same. Friday was big. Huge day in my history. Interact Annual Dinner. Drove myself, Fatt, Ryan and Eshton all the way there. And back. Ask Ryan or Fatt. They'll tell you the 'real deal'. Just so you know, I don't take corners at 120km/h. It was an accident. There was no street lamps, and I didn't see the corner early enough. Nothing happened, I just skidded a bit. Scared the crap out of everyone too. I didn't have enough time to brake you see. I was going fast, trying to catch up to Ivor. Yeah. Got a hamper from Pn Hazlin too, for being 'interact mascot' (whatever that means). The performances were cool, Megat, his cousin, Muiz; Bel and Thacana, and of couse Nikki and Lian were all awesome. Danced around, drank coffee, drove back. Now, Saturday. Installation Day (I Day) and International Understanding day (IU day). Drove to I day, helped to get biscuits and fruits for the guest baskets. Went back, showered and changed and left. Got scolding from my dad cos I'm using up too much petrol, so I walked to IU. In full black. IU was very awesome, but there were too many bands. And Pn. Hazlin wasn't happy bout that. But all in all, quite good. Sunday, nothing much. Church, sleep and sleep. So basically, an entire Interact weekend. Ouh yeah, and resumed weights again on Sunday after long last. Next week nothing much. On Thursday was called out of class for some SUHAKAM thingy. Me, Fatt, Damia, Ruiz, Manan, Jern (Ashraf Daniel) and Nurul. They just asked us to introduce ourselves, then we sorta had a discussion bout caning and PPSMI (Learnig Science and Maths in English). Yeah. Dunno why they were so teruja. Saturday was Scouts pembubaran. Now I'm officially not a pentadbir any more. Me Fatt and Eshton went to get McD first. Man the drive through is crowded. Other than that, nothing much. Sunday had a ceramah bout Physics and Chem in school. Not great, but not bad. Got my flu there. Came back and slept.

That's about it. Thanks for reading. Now my debt of a report of last week has been paid in full. Hence the post title.

Now, panadol and my bed awaits me. I've been sneezing far too much in order to finish this post.

Adious.

Until Next Time,

A very sick dude.

Stress.

2009-08-08T19:58:00.000+08:00

Hi.

I'm Back.

I know, haven't blogged in a while.

I owe you a full report of last week

It shall come.

For now, I just need to let out some steam.

Erm, excuse me.

(Looks left, looks right)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAArrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry.

Couldn't hold it in much longer.

Why am I screaming inaudibly you ask?

One word.

STRESS.

Yup,

It affects me too.

In fact this is more stress than I've ever, ever dealt with.

I just need a break.

Life sucks.

Help me.

Well, I've gotta go.

Stuff to do.

Work to finish.

Scolding to receive.

Stress to deal with

Until next time,

A very

very

stressed out guy.

A Toothy Tuesday

2009-07-28T17:08:00.001+08:00

Hi!
I'm blogging from my tuiton centre today.
Mastermind Training Academy is a tuiton of tommorow after all.
Or rather, a new-age tuiton. Yeap that's the phrase.

In case the title sorta confused you, I just had a dental today.
Changed my braces colour.
Red and blue.

Drived all the way to Bangsar. Pretty rad.

Nothing much else actually. I'm just killing time till my Chem teacher gets here. She's usually late. But no worries.
Pretty boring day. Nothing to do. Hahaha I signed myself up for a physics quiz on thurs. Now I don't wanna go.

K, teacher's here.
Until next time.

An Inspiring Monday

2009-07-27T17:55:00.000+08:00

Hey,

It's me.

I'm Back.

Quite Soon, I know.

There's something that I wanna share.

Today was, well boring. As erm, not hell, erm, mega hell. Totally nothing to do. I should have skipped like Haniesha and Emielee. Even Seng Fatt, Burhan & Yan Koh weren't around. They planned this, I know it. First, bored to death in Assembly. Plus it was longer cos of Pertandingan Pidato Spontan. It isn't even Spontan. They knew their topic beforehand. Totally unspontaneous. First and second period, PJ. Stone in library. "Doing English work". More like dreaming bout English while sleeping in an air-conditioned room. No Add Maths. BM nothing much. English, what else but sleep. Physics, not soooooo bad. She is boring, but if you listen you can learn. But she is totally yawn. Half the class never understand her anyway. She let us out early, which is one good thing about Physics today.

Anyway, on this boring day, I've actually got something productive out of it. I've got my inspiration and my initiative to study back. It has returned, at long last. Should I explain? OK fine. You see, when I went into the staff room, I saw my name on the list of targeted straight-A students. I've never been on that list. Sorta got me thinking, if my teachers believe that I can get 11A's, then why can't I. I just need to believe in myself and really push myself to study and get those A's. So yeah, I've got my drive back again. Although I haven't been driving today. Hehe nowhere to drive to. Oh yeah, and I heard the Form 3 Prefects performance on Prefects Night was EPIC. Plus, they sorta acknowledged my help in it. They're awesome. Totally makes it worth helping. Now I understand how a teacher feels when a student excells.

That's about all for now. Short blog, but meaningful. She was right, the person who got me to start this blog. It does help to let it all out.

Until Next Time,

An Inspired SPM Candidate.

Of patience, driving, commentating, directing & sleep

2009-07-26T22:01:00.000+08:00

Hey,

Greetings readers

(If any) I have returned with another post.

Hopefully not as long as the previous one

But certainly more, erm

time spanning

I'm gonna talk bout the whole week

Works better this way.

Now I can sorta reflect on what I've done.

So let's start. Yes, I'm gonna blog in purple this time. Hey, it's a cool colour. Color. Colour. Color.

Anyway, let's start with Monday. Wasn't the best day. Best to start there. Wasn't best all because of one fruit cake named Ryan. Bloody git. He, well, isn't the gentlest of souls. neither is he the most patient. It all starts with a little thing called Rubik's magic. It's the Rubik's cube, but sorta next level. They make loads of stuff like this. Anyway, my mom brought one for me back from Singapore. They went there for the weekend. Left me wif my older bro. As usual, I'm the responsible one. I have to make sure the house doesn't burn to the ground. Anyway she came back and brought me this really cool folding Rubik's magic. I wanted to try it out the next morning in school. That's all honest. Unfortunately, by recess it was broke. Gone. Ka-put. Not even 24 hours. I was flat out angry with him. Not just normal anger. Righteous anger, as Munirah put it. And this isn't the first thing he's broken. My mini-cube was looking rather fragile. Wasn't the same after entering his hands one day. It could actually be re-assembled. But, there was a couple of missing pieces. The remaining pieces are gathering dust in my room. Also, he broke the 5 Beta back door. So you understand why I was so mad at him. I seriously wanted to punch him in the face. Unfortunately, according to my religion, I'm supposed to forgive seventy times seven times. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. But I don't really regret it.

Moving on, among other things I did last week, I helped to direct as well as sorta choreograph the Form 3 prefects performance for prefects night. It was sorta a favour to Megat cos we didn't get to do our Jason Mraz performance on Golden Nite. It all started last friday after tuiton. Before Kavee's birthday party. Popped by school. Then just sorta helped them out. They're actually quite good. Their performance was quite awesome, and some of them can really act. Actually, all of them. It was well worth my time and effort.

Strangely enough, I've slept more this week than any other this whole year. I feel really tired. And, I really don't feel like studying at home. Not good. Anyway, I've got my drivers licence now. I'm driving practically everywhere. It's pretty awesome. Church, Grandpa's house, everywhere.

Speaking of church, this week there was youth mass. It was pretty rad. I did commentating. Third time. If I do psalm, I would have done everything short of musician, Communion minister and priest. The latter two, a little difficult I think. But not impossible. ;)

Well, as usual, Gifford sorta lead the whole thing. Feels good to not have to be in charge. The Leong family entirely got involved. Eilena (I think that's how you spell it. Forgive me if I'm wrong) sang in the choir. Julian played guitar. Marcus read First Reading. Not read, procaimed. More like shouted. But it was good. Very clear and concise. Better than I've done, me thinks. Annabel sang the psalm. She's got an amazing voice, and she sang it really well. Nick sang & Thed sorta fooled round with the sound, but Jacq was nowhere to be found. Neither was Sherwin or Ryan. Usually they're left, right and centre in a youth mass. Anyway, it was very good, even without them. We're getting pretty good at this.

Well, as they say, time and tide wait for no man. So, I must be going now. Thanks for reading if you did. TTFN (Tata For Now)

Until next time,

Your avid

Mr. Patient /

Driver /

Commentator /

Director /

Sleep deprived boy

Driving Test

2009-07-20T21:44:00.000+08:00

So I should start on Wednesday. I've always liked Wednesdays. It's one of the coolest days of the week

So, Wednesday. In case you can't actually read the title of this post, it was my driving test. But hey, If you can't read that then well, I guess you can't read this.

Yeah, driving test. Not your undang test, that one can be done while eating chocolate cake. I guess I'm not actually gonna talk bout that awesome chocolate cake my mom got for my brother's birthday, or this'll never finish.

So first, let me explain the gravity of this test. If I pass this, I can drive. Like anywhere. On the road, Everything. And like, my older brother passed his on the first time. Without bribing, which I heard was impossible. I heard la. Quite contrary to what I've now seen at least. Some of my friends also got it. I've been like hitching rides from Ivor adn Justin for a couple of weeks now. So there was massive peer presure. I was practically scared stiff for like 3 days. I could barely eat properly. It was so bad that I messed up my pre-test quite badly. What's a pre-test you ask? You see, most driving schools take the students who are about to sit for their driving test around the road as well as the center where they're supposed to take their test a couple of days earlier. Gives you confidence, they say. Well, it didn't. after epic-failing it on Monday I was really scared. After all, Who wants to fail.

So began my ( as well as my parents) efforts to get me confident. Tried doing bukit using my dad's Citroen. Hard to clutch cos of it's weight, but not too bad. Tried parking in my mom's Myvi. Was okay. So still nervous, but not so bad.

Then came, (sinister music please) the test day. Wednesday. Got up, tried parking one more time and left for William (My driving school). Hour long ride in a bumpy Perodua Rusa, got there at round 12. Ate mee goreng at canteen (Super large plate, I swear the lady was like trying to make me sleepy wif the amount of heavy food or something). My batch was the 2 pm batch. And I was number 6 to sit for the test. I was scared from the Rusa ride onwards. So after explaination, the first 20 went to the bukit site. The people talked some more, and the first 8 got into the cars. strangely enough, I was the only one responding to the dude. Like good morning, yes, no all. Got into my car. My goodness. I was shaking from head to toe. Major nerves.Then, got a message. It was someone I messaged last night cos I was a lil too nervous. Now only reply. There was a reason for that, but it's another story. The person wished me luck, so I was feeling kinda better.When it was my turn,nerves returnd. I couldn't release the clutch properly. Car died. Luckily, they don't fail you then. So managed to go up, and stopped at line. I overshot it. "OK adik, undur ye". Second time. Now not so bad. Went up, stop on line, balance ok, accelerate ok, car went. Went and got my form, signed and got back in. Now I'm thinking, yes la. Bukit pass redi. Can la. The thing is, the site is actually on a hill. So you've gotta do some balancing to go forward. I hope you know what that means. So continue, now parking. No problem. Kinda tricky cos of the uphillness. If I don't balance, the can goes backwards. If I hit the pole, I fail. But was good. No problem. 3 point turn, same trickiness but no problem. So I've passed by Second part. First part was undang test done long ago. Usual story, when I went to sign my form, the JPJ dude asked me whether I play guitar. Sometimes I get tired of all the Santana jokes. Went around to the bukit place to give my car over. wished good luck to the girl who was getting into my car. So the JPJ dude, the one whom I had responded to earlier sorta merajuks cos I din salam him. Quite funny. "Sori la Bang" Salamed the dude. Went off. He was still sorta merajuking in a joking way. lol. So done part 2, I thought I can relax before part 3. No such thing. Before I could sit down, they asked me to get into another car. Now nervous again, but not so bad. Once again, uphill so have to balance. Was okay. did everything properly. Checked my seat and mirrors and signals and everything. Went not bad. I was quite nervous still. Dude din really talk till we were on our way back. "Adik memang oleh bawak kereta, cuma Adik ni nervous sikit. Memang beza orang mampu dan orang nervous sikit je. Ada banyak yang Adik perlu belajarla sendiri di jalan raya. Nanti mungkin Adik jumpa saya di road block. Adik memang boleh bawak kereta." So he passed me. 19 over 20. Quite good. The dude was awesome la. real cool. I only lost one point cos of gear. When I turned around and was coming back, there was a lorry kinda close up behind me. So I didn't change into gear 2 as soon as I should have. But it's one mark. Sign more stuff, and it's official. I can drive! Smsed the earlier said person, and also told my dad.

It was a good day. Was kinda estatic bout it for a couple of days. After all, it was a big thing for me.

Okay so I guess I had better end it here. Thanks for reading. Sorry it's so long, my only consolation is that there is more that I didn't write. Sorry too there's no pics.

Till another time,

The Dude Who Passed His Driving Test.

It's About Time.

2009-07-20T21:30:00.000+08:00

Aloha. Yeah. I'm Back. Much Apologies. It's Been About A Month, I Know

I've been busy. Stuff to do, things to say, items to see.

Well, I guess it's about time I updated.

Ok so you're about to get one weeks worth of blog. In one night.

Just one week?

Yeah, I feel lazy to write bout a whole month

Oh yes, and thanks to certain people who got me to sorta continue this.

I really should stop changing fonts. K then, I'll stick to this

2009-06-07T23:31:00.000+08:00

OK!

So this is it.

First Entry.

Well, as with all first entries,

this is gonna be quite empty

Actually, I'm not even sure why I agreed to write this.

Just sorta happened.

So there.

And, that's the end of First Entry.

Told ja it's gonna be quite empty.

More than quite actually.

Adious.